It was a couple months ago, me and a couple friends go to see Childish Gambino. Now its a little known fact at the venue that if you eat at the adjoining restaurant, they let you skip the line and enter through the back, which is what we did. So we eat, drink and be merry and walk right into the show, front row. This was all well and good except, this was a sold out venue and in the next 15-20 minutes we were going to be trapped by 1000 other people behind us. Over the course of the show, we found ourselves getting pushed (and groped) by strangers doing it for the vine trying to get closer to the stage. My date was nearly trampled and may or may not punched a guy…..or two….and shoved another, and spend half the show with some girl brushing her breasts up against me and copping cheap feels, my date may have threatened to kick her ass….it was a wild night. Wild, fun, but never a fuggin gain was my decree as we left the venue. Simple put, I’m too damn old for General Admission.
Last week I turned 25….I’m in my mid 20s, I got to buy insurance, I go the barber praying my hairline doesn’t start LeBroning, I rather drink wine at a lounge than turn up at the club, I paid off my credit cards, I’m a big kid now. Now that I’m on the other side of the twenties hill, there’s times where I have an “I feel old” moment and no one lets me live (cuz a better part of my social circle is 30+ these days and even my 30+ readers are rolling their eyes). But tis true, mid twenty somethings can be “old” too, just like when I get information about a show and my first question is “is there a balcony?”
Other ways I know I’m getting old…
1. I’m overjoyed I don’t have to see high schoolers on my commutes anymore
2. I purchased running shoes and basketball shoes because I feel the aftere ffects of doing either in any ol sneaker
3. I think about the messages in the songs on the radio
4. Running into people from high school and being addressed by first and last name
5. Feeling like crap when I skip meals or eat too much fast food
6. Getting annoyed by remakes of things from my childhood
7. Strongly considering hiring an interior designer
8. Getting hey boo’d by girls I watched grow up
9. Strongly preferring a massage over sex some nights…..okay I’m lying I want both
10. I told a “when I was your age” story the other day
11. Its been a year and I haven’t purchased a PS4 yet
12. I’ll probably purchase a juicer and a Keurig tho
And unlucky #13
No more surprises.
I could get engaged or be expecting a child tomorrow and no one would blink twice, because at 25, this isn’t peculiar. No more wrap it up warnings from Pops, no more calling girlfriends “wife” (actually I always hated that sh t, I have a friend who is Facebook married to his girl…he’s 29.). I could take a job in California and no one would protest, not that I couldn’t at 18 but you get my point. When you get into your 20s, you’re not “too young” for anything now, well except death and complaining about being old in the first place.