I used to love Father’s Day. A quarter century ago, I was BORN on Father’s Day. (So darling readers, I accept ecards, baked goods and Paypal) Before social media I never knew backlash against Father’s Day was even a thing. Ah, ignorance was indeed bliss. Now, this Sunday I might just avoid social media altogether because they have obliterated Father’s Day. Father’s Day was pure, no religious separatism (Christmas, Easter), no Native Americans were harmed in the creation of this holiday (Columbus, Thanksgiving), wasn’t sullied by a three day weekend of debauchery (MLK Day, Memorial Day), it was an American holiday we got right….. Until Twitter can in with a steel chair when the refs back was turned. Now its become a day of shaming, bitterness, and poor taste.
It starts with #thedebate. For what it’s worth I think its disrespectful to men and women for single mothers to try to “claim” the day, however it came to be that you’re now raising a child alone, be the best parent you can be that being said, you’re not a f@&*ing father. It is literally that black and white. It took two. You caught the touchdown but someone, buckfoy or not, threw that muhfugga. I’ve gotten into arguments over this position, been accused of judging, and having privilege; whatever. I don’t need to know your life, you didn’t fertilize an egg. Case closed.
What probably annoys me more is #theshade. Parents on social media dragging the others name through the mud for likes and retweets. You wouldn’t go on stage in front of hundreds of friends, family and acquaintances and deliver a soliloquy about how this man YOU chose is this that and the third but you will write it on Facebook and hit post. You wouldn’t speak at a function and badmouth the ones who aren’t there, but again you’ll taint your well wishes with qualifiers. Perhaps this grinds my gears because people really pretend the internet and real life aren’t the same. REAL people read your posts, REAL people are judging, REAL people will REALLY hurt you.
Rounding out this three headed monster is #theignorant. The ones who use “fatherless” as a slur, the ones who do use this day to cast aspersions on single mothers. There’s a difference between me saying a mother is not a father or keep your private matters private and some stay-at-home son judging a woman on who she chose to give her body to. My father is present in my life but I’ll never act like that lends credence to my words over someone who was raised by a single mother. Some perspectives I’ll never truly understand and I’ll never speak from them. If only others would do the same, then well maybe Father’s Day wouldn’t be where it is.
Men don’t make a fuss over gifts, so the market will never make Father’s Day THAT big a deal. It’s only been around about 40 years, so it’ll never catch Mothers Day (well over a century old), but what I hope Father’s Day will become is the good natured celebration it ought to be. So this Sunday, I’ll probably chop it up with my pops,
salute another year of not slipping one past the goalie, hit up the homies who did and watch the Finals. No room for negativity in my life (especially my birthday week).