Today’s Word is… FRIEND


More things should be like poor kneaux clips.  Okay, almost 2 years in and this easily is the randomest post opening ever.  From God to poor nography, thats just how I roll. Poor kneaux clips are very specific about what it is you are about to see, there’s no minced words, chubby ebony gets blahblahblah you watch and you see exactly that (sidebar, ebony was such a beautiful word we let get sullied, why couldn’t we give them chocolate or burnt Siena).  In life, things aren’t as cut and dry, we are notoriously vague; a job ad for marketing executive is really cold calling, a freelance makeup artist is really unemployed Instagram user and a friend, well that can pretty much mean anyone you aren’t related or committed to. 

For most men, female friends can go into a category of “slept with” “wanna sleep with” or “wouldn’t ever sleep with”.  Theoretically, a man calling a homegirl he’s had for years a friend while placing that title on a loyal twitter follower, the ex he not quite over, the roommate, his boy’s ex, the cute receptionist at work, and the chick he’s smashing no strings attached makes no damn sense. It doesn’t, which is why most men clearly distinguish who is where in their heart even if it isn’t stated outright.  We remember the Myspace Top 8 days, we know better. So, for all intents and purposes, ask who’s that? Yeah that’s my friend.



Why go through the trouble?  Men like women.  And men aren’t great at making new friends.  I’ve gone out chopped it up with some cool brothas, and never spoke again.  A woman I find chemistry with, I’m getting that follow up.  What happens from there may or may not turn into something but in the meantime in between time, well, yeah that’s my friend.  Because someone I text to pass time at work is too poor know graphic. 

It could all be so simple, but some rather make it hard. (For those keeping score, this is the 10th L Boogie reference on SFW).  Enter the dark side of having “friends”, emotional cheating, expectations, and messiness.  This happens when you aren’t real about how friendly your friends are.  Trust me, I know.  It’s been a rough few weeks. You don’t wanna know, trust me.  Its been a rough few weeks.  As I always say, titles breed accountability; you have a different responsibility to a “friend” than someone you’re smashing dating, someone you’re dating to your girlfriend.  Some men try to shirk all responsibilities and call everyone a friend and problem solved right? Wrong. So very wrong.  If you seen her boobs, she’ll always be a certain KIND of friend.  If you’ve had intimate conversations, she’s a different KIND of friend, you had sex, things have changed.  Even if she says “oh we can just be friends” the seal has been broken and you both know that.  Even if one tries to act otherwise.


Heh heh fitting image. Heh heh...fitting. *sees self out*

To me, that is the true “friendzone”, trying to factory seal an open bottle, not that “nice” guy/girl cant take rejection stuff they sell on TV.  Being intimate with someone and telling them it doesn’t count, cuz titles.  Feelings gon feel, titles only dictate the expectations.  I can call someone a friend all I like, doesn’t change how I truly feel about them.  It’s a lesson that I’m still assimilating now.  Perhaps I need a new label for those special friends….like…..idk I’ll let you know when I figure it out.


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Filed under Dating, Love, Randomness, Simply Stan

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