How do I……
to what we haaaaaaad.
So for reasons unknown, I pulled up to my photobucket and the pictures missing. Nothing too great (pictures salvaged from Myspace days
newds, more newds, and some other newds . Sure I hadn’t been on Photobucket in about 8-9 years but I was gon get right back. So I reach out and ask how I get my pictures back and they gave me a 20 point plan and well, let’s just say I’ll miss those pictures. You see, I’m lazy. I’m a pseudo-millenial, the age where I still own floppy disks for some reason and I can share photos with “Reine” by high fiving our phones together (new castmember alert). Like most people in this demographic, we have tech privilege, we have no idea how or why certain things work the way they do (okay I know a lil bit) but we just want things to….work. When they don’t, we’ll vent about our first world problems to thousands or millions of strangers and they’ll respond because they get it. I’m unapologetic about my tech privilege and my first world problems, there’s hundreds of things that annoy me that probably shouldn’t but let me be great. I got problems yo…
1. My favorite diner is still cash only, I even explained Square to them and they still wont do it (I did convince the local ice cream parlor, I just realized Im making this random company money for free)
1b. and one of their founders keeps taking @Tristan screenname, i hate when people have screennames I want, MY NAME IS MY NAME (c) Marlo Stanfield.
2. I hate I pay Hulu $8/month to still play ads during my shows
3. I hate when sites try to make me sign in with social media
4. I hate articles that are only in slideshow form
5. Why do I have to keep more making complex passwords, #fixitjesus
6. I used to get channels clear as day with the wire from a notebook now I got to pay for HD or my picture looks like shit
7. Why do smartphones keep improving the back camera and not the front
8. They’re going to make hoverboards when I’m too old to be on a hoverboard and Ima be pissed
9. If I’m going to lose service on the subway, can I get some WiFi then?
10. Cant turn a bad song good but when a good song gets thumbed down its gone forever
11. I cant name my Galaxy “Jarvis”
12. The Galaxy S5 has a different charger when I got so used to the micro USB
13. I caught up on a show on Netflix now I gotta watch commercials like a savage
13b. I DVRed the show so I can fast forward but now my timeline is full of spoilers
14. I’m writing this post on my phone and people keep texting me
15. I’m so overwhelmed by Spotify, I still haven’t made my own playlist
16. Illegally downloading books should be much easier than it is
17. I had to clear my cache and now I have to type out websites
18. I can still hear the world with these earbuds
19. One day I was in the bathroom while I was on the phone and the automatic toilet gave me away
20. I posted this picture during off peak hours and now its never going to get the likes it deserves
21. No Facebook, I wont download that messenger app
22. These apps had all night to update now it wants to download when I’m doing something
24. My phone died when I was out so now I only have memories of the Yeezus tour or the World Series, pssh memories cant even download them
24b. Actually, i changed my mind downloading memories sounds like the premise of a bad Tom Cruise movie
24c. Tom Cruise wont stop making these bad Sci Fi movies
25. Why do cell phones die but McDonalds meat don’t
The struggle is real (inconsequential). I feel no shame these things bother me, I mean there’s more pressing sh t going on but what affects my day to day life is Netflix buffering, shorts in phone chargers and not having WiFi access. (I mean sure there’s racism, violence, patriarchy, bigotry but this is supposed to be a lighthearted post so allow me to feign ignorant for a day). And right now my Bluetooth speakers won’t sync with my tablet…..HOW SWAY?