Today’s Word is… DESERVE


You know how things just fall into your lap when you’re not looking for it, well I think its just happened to me

Everything I’m looking for…
A fine blend of traditional and modern…
A brick house, one of would say…
Ready to take on all my shit…
From a nice part of town…
Plenty of potential…
Not much back there but the front is luxurious…

And comes with utilities.

You see I’m talking about the newest object of my fascination, a 2 BR loft in the city.  Well I was, got outbid by a newlywed couple, I hope their marriage fails, kidding, slightly.  Anyway, since I wrapped my mind around moving, suddenly my apartment feels….different.  Once you see what you can do, you never want to feel like you’re going backwards.  I make a decent enough wage to not deal with the ticky tack things here, I can do better, and I will.

That reminded me of another time; about 3 years ago, I applied for a promotion at my job. I went through the whole song and dance only to be turned down (for what).  Not long after I quit, in my mind I was already planning the pay bump, thinking about everything I hated about that job and how things would change for the better only to have the rug snatched from up under me.  I couldn’t do that anymore, I knew I could better and I did. (Well I quit for a worst job with better pay, got laid off until I got my current gig which is better than both, so it all worked out…eventually.)

Yet with relationships that I’m not that courageous.  I take what’s there before me and convince myself this is satisfactory (see post before last).  Its been in the back of my mind lately why I dont feel like I deserve XYZ.   I’ve gotten too comfortable being Prince Charming; I aim to be everything she is looking for but I don’t necessarily get what I want.  My income tells me I can get that loft in the city, my resume tells me I demand more than minimum wage, but what dictates what I deserve as a lover?   Looks, personality, stroke game, status?

A while back I talked about standards and I said there was nothing wrong with having standards, provided you hold yourself accountable to them.  Be the person you think you deserve deserves.  The other day on Twitter there was a woman dismissing Groupons (actually think thats Monday’s post) but look at her avatar, damaged hair, cheap jewelry…and of course people let her know about it, cuz Internet.  Now there was nothing wrong with her opinion but the man who’s too “rich” for Groupon (you say no to discount dates, Stanny J can’t) probably isn’t checking for her anyway.  Now bringing it all full circle, I think I’m a great guy, give or take (God ain’t thru with me yet) do I deserve #Her yet?  Hell,  does she deserve me?




Filed under Dating, Love, Simply Stan

2 responses to “Today’s Word is… DESERVE

  1. LilyO

    I understand what you mean, in my experience when you don’t know for sure what you want you settle for anything. With your career you have clear goals and standards that you set for yourself (gain leadership and make more money). This may sound girly, but you should write down a list of what you would like to have in a significant other. And instead of becoming a “prince charming” to a peasant you should think of yourself as a King who needs to find a Queen. You no longer have to view a relationship as reaching down and aiming to please, but as a chance to find someone who is willing to give and take.

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