Today’s Word is… CHARM

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“Ooh that looks good”

It was something simple like a sex on the beach, but I could care less what the drink was, it was an icebreaker. 

“Idk what to order, what would you recommend”

I’m a simple drinker, straight Hennessey or juice and vodka.  Just keeping the conversation going

“I drink on occasion mostly, how about you”

Now she usually downplays how often she drinks, except one time this woman was a self proclaimed connoisseur, actually put me on to a couple drinks but anyway

“So what you do in your spare time…yada yada yada, things that make you smile, what numbers to dial”

I probably never use the number, sometimes I forget and then realize the statue of intimations (yes, intimations) has passed on using this newly acquired form of communication.  It happens.

Now let’s switch roles

“Ooh that looks good”

I’m drinking something simple, she’s making an introduction

“What you recommend…”

I buy her a drink, we chat for a bit until she’s ready to go, she gives me her number, thanks for the drink, I leave feeling like

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Except she never gets back to me.  Now with me, I’m like UPS, I make 2-3 attempts before it becomes your responsibility to reach out (okay maybe one attempt, but I wanted to use the UPS line). 

The following were both true stories (the former actually happened this weekend) I’ve got at women for no reason other than boredom and ego boosting, and I’ve been soft curved by women who actually approached me the first time.  I don’t think either of us are necessarily wrong, charge it to the game.  The fun part is meeting new people but now that we found lust what are we going to do….with it.  Nothing. Nothing at all.  Theoretically, I’m wasting her time because in some alternate reality had I never approached her with my boredom, her future husband would’ve.  That one night with me she could’ve spent alone self reflecting and improving for the better.  Life is short, there isn’t time to waste.  However, I must ask:  Is there any lane for one to charm for sport?

I’ve said here before the difference between flirting and leading astray is perception).  You can’t control how someone feels about you.  now if I was expressing interest in a relationship or sleeping with them, thats another story (well technically not, but I can at least understand why one would feel some type of way) but otherwise, is there really any obligation to them?  In this new era of vulnerability and Drake albums you are seeing more people complain about rejection so much friendzoning someone is an indictment on their character.  How dare you be nice to anyone you don’t want to be with.  What happened to harmless flirting? Why can’t one just charm?

Because everything means something now.  Sometimes a flirty conversation is just a conversation, a dance is just a dance, exchanging numbers is just for show.   Every girl who likes my picture doesn’t want me, every dude paying a compliment isn’t trying to smash. We read so much into things that we ruin them; we crush ourselves via our own expectations.  We forget to enjoy a moment for what it is, a moment.  I got a number, hooray for me, she got hit on by a non creepy pseudo attractive guy hooray for her.  Now we can both take the +3 confidence points and live the rest of our lives or spend the next week or so wondering why one didn’t call/text the other.  This all makes sense, right?

-Stan-

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3 Comments

Filed under Dating, Randomness, Relationships, Simply Stan

3 responses to “Today’s Word is… CHARM

  1. I agreed with everything but “sharing numbers is just for show”. That has always pissed me off! I don’t give my number unless I want further contact. It can be such a letdown to never get that call. I’m not spilling tears over some stranger but it does bruise the ego.

  2. Ha Ha I love it… “charm for sport”. I agree nobody wants to enjoy the moment of just meeting someone and letting it be.. what it be…just a moment. For some reason it turns into this Hollywood production moment of awwhh their coming on to me..lights/action/camera…..NOT always. Sometimes friendly comes across as flirty but it is the perception of the one who is trying to read into the situation, instead of just letting it flow. If someone never calls after a number exchange, oh well, you had never talked to them before the brief encounter anyway so is there really any love loss there? I say take the +3 confidence points and meet somebody else new tomorrow and earn +3 more points….get into the sport of the thing. 😉

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