So the other day I talked about the allure that is a new relationship and the perks that come with it. What I forgot to mention is that lost in the glow of your shiny new boo is the bred flags you conveniently try to ignore for as long as possible or in some cases full on suppression. Its only when the lust fades you see that his jokes weren’t that funny or she really wasn’t that great a dresser. Yet in the honeymoon phase that Madea impression is gold and you love her jean shorts over colorful leggings. We give out plenty passes when we’re smitten and will be damned if someone tells us otherwise about them. Our standards and preferences sound good in theory but then someone comes and shatters them all.
I think back to past/current situations now with the objective views and realize how full of sh t I actually am; I could be a quarterback with all the passes I gave. Now there are some real real dealbreakers, but a lot of the ones I thought existed don’t exactly match my resume. Common passes I issued
1. She lives at home- I left for college at 18 and never went back, in 2006 that was somewhat uncommon. In 2014 its full on rare, recession and whatnot. I don’t require someone I date to have their own spot just be advised to take that ass home. Frequently.
2. She has kids- I love kids, one of my fears in life is never having any that being said, dating mothers requires a bit more work and depending who it is I’m willing to make the added effort
3.She’s an aspiring model/single/actress- First, Boston isn’t exactly the entertainment capital of the world, if you’re here that’s a telltale sign you’re probably full of sh t. Second, #shefinetho so I just….don’t judge me.
4.She’s not too smart- Again, don’t judge me.
5.She’s way over yonder– I really want to hate long distance relationships. They’re frustrating, tedious and really just a fancy way of saying pen pals. Yet I keep finding myself drawn to ones who I shouldn’t and next thing you know I’m contemplating 10 hour drives and cheap flights.
It works vice versa I’ve gone from “not my type” to the one that got away cause I started from the bottom now I’m here. I’ve also gone from the greatest guy in the world to he ain’t sh t, cause like I said passes void after a while. I’m a nerd, way too open, introverted, sarcastic, a homebody; and depending who you ask and when you ask its cute or its something they ain’t got time for. If you ask me about my new potential her, I can make all 5 “dealbreakers” sound ideal for me…I mean who cares if she’s an instagram model with a 10th grade education living at her moms house with 2 kids #shefinetho hater.