Editors Note: I actually wrote this a year ago and at the time thought maybe I was in my feelings about it and thought better of it. Now a whole year done passed and I don’t have anything else to write about, why not? And for the record, I still don’t think I’m wrong.
So its Valentine’s Day and I invite my sweetie out to a nice evening of dinner and drinks. When deciding on a venue, I take a friend’s advice and skip restaurant chains and try a nice upscale place in town with a solid Yelp rating. You know, one of those restaurants that don’t put prices on the menu so you just gotta pray that bill don’t look like zip code when it comes. Anyway, so the plan was to meet up after work, I was in my business casual work attire, she shows up in a sweater and jeans, whatever dress codes usually only apply to black men anyway.
Our waitress comes, I order for us. The waitress smiles and says she always finds it cute when the man orders for two. My date suddenly has an issue that I ordered for her (we discussed what we were getting like 10 seconds prior). So our food arrives and before its even blessed she takes out her phone and takes pictures (pet peeve of mine BTW). It’s a weeknight so I only have a beer while she orders several drinks (she makes note she orders them herself after the waitress’ comment). She complains the drinks are too light but keeps ordering more because that makes sense. The waitress checks on us occasionally like most waitresses do but my date thinks there’s an ulterior motive. So anyway, we finish eating the check comes…..steep but not devastating. Now my thing with tips is I usually try to round bills to easy whole numbers makes it easier to keep track in my head. The waitress was polite, fast, courteous and I’m 1/4 bougie on my mamas side, I tip generously.
My dates still pretty drunk so we walk and talk and for a while the night was salvaged. Now we’re in the cab headed home…
“So….how much you tip the waitress?”
“Like the number amount, how much did you give her”
“A dollar per side eye you gave her tonight”
“Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because I don’t get why its such a big deal, just tell me..I mean she was all over you, I don’t know why we went there anyway…”
This went on the whole ride, nevermind how much I just spent on her she was not going to let this go. We get to my place, no asking how much I tipped the cabbie with the Duck Dynasty beard, no real thank you for dinner, only more ranting about just the tip. Night ruined, mood killed, I didn’t even care to ask “just the tip?” Next time I’m just going to Chili’s…with a waiter. And tipping like a cliche black person. Vuck Falentines Day.