When it comes to advice, I’m probably much more vocal online than in real life. If I wrote a blog about why someone is cheating or tweet my perspective on a situation, it’s just out there, to whom it may concern take it or leave it. People you know, too much defending, too close to potential backfire, I just rather not. So when my boy told me he was getting a place with his girlfriend, in my head I wanted to say “you’re going to regret it, don’t do it, you don’t want them problems”, what I actually said is “that’s what’s up”. Now even if I went the other route, I doubt we’d fight about it more likely he wouldn’t listen to me in the first place, so it’s easier to just skip the theatrics. Now, I’ve been around his girlfriend a couple times, she’s nice and he adores her so for all I know I’m wrong, but as someone who’s been there
and is never wrong about these things I can only sit back and hope for the best.
The pros and cons are there, pro: it’s cheaper con: that’s that shit God don’t like (did I really use God and a Chief Keef lyric, I feel like I might get struck by lightning when I hit publish *repents*). I weighed all of those myself before I gave “she” the (key)ring and unlimited access to what was my kingdom, my sanctuary, my fortress of solitude. It was all good at first but then, there’s pretty much realities one faces when moving in with their s/o.
It’s their house too now– You come home and their friends at the crib watching TV, you want them gone but the other head of the household has given clearance. Their Parents bought a new house and moving all of their old belongings from their garage to your garage. You want to watch the game but she wants to watch Keeping Up With the Love and Basketball Wives Ink Crew Atlanta
Check in required– “Where are you” texts are the worst. From the second you checked that message, you are now on the clock. You say you’ll be home in an hour guess who’ll be up watching Netflix in an hour.
Chores– No matter how neat you think you are, or when you think it’s necessary to do, they will have another opinion. She used to eat dinner at 8-9pm, now he gets home at 6 and would like a meal. He was gonna get around to the dishes, she would like them done not now, but right now.
You aren’t saving money– You’d think with half the rent means extra money in your pocket, but that just goes to extra food, toiletries, and decor. Oh and quiet nights in aren’t special when every night is a quiet night in, so that means date nights and more of that money you thought you was saving
You get dumped and you’re homeless #atthesamedamntime– Relationships end in two ways, marriage or breakup. Simple logic says if you move in with someone either you’re going to marry them or one of you are going to have to move out. If it’s an amicable breakup, maybe one will give the other time to land on their feet (which is a trap, they will sleep on the couch for a while but ultimately they going to work their way back in)
Daily sex is a myth– You’d think it’s there at your convenience because it isn’t going anywhere, but it’s there at THEIR convenience because, ain’t like it’s going anywhere.
No escape during fights– That sinking feeling when you know a fight is just sitting at home waiting for you or you storm off and realize you just left your own damn house with nowhere to go.
They dress all the way down at home– Not the cutesy instagram make up, bra and boy shorts #goodnight way, like your basketball shorts and t shirt and her hair wrapped kinda way, oh and when she’s sick…..man, look
Of course, it’s not all bad. Having someone to come home to after a long day, staying at home and doing nothing seems infinitely cooler with a ladyfriend there, someone to spoon every night…it takes work but if both parties are committed it can be the start of something much greater. Just make sure you have a back up plan for the back up plan.