So it was a few months back when I heard about Lorde, the 16 year old New Zealand singer, whose EPs were giving life to bougie black America. I kept making a note to listen to her but always got sidetracked, it happens. So I’m with a friend when “Royals” comes on the radio she quickly turns it up, “Oh my God, I LOVE LORDE”, as she fixes her scarf, because bougie black women love scarves as well. I kept hearing of this song but it was the first time I heard THE song…my reaction, meh. She was not here for it and like most people do, she proceeded to explain the song because apparently to not like something means you simply don’t understand it. I just thought the minimalist production didn’t work nor did her vocals. Another friend recommended I listen to the Mayer Hawthorne cover of the song, I liked his rendition as I’m a fan of his in general but then another realization set in that the lyrics are really weak. Now the song is soaring up the charts and I’m still like…meh. Now some of you might remember last year when I did a list of the most overrated things, most of which still very much overrated, this go round I’m doing simply the things that simply aren’t as great as people think they are, or things that I used to like but these days…meh.
It’s the remix baby…speaking of Lil Wayne should top this list but he’s fallen so out of favor I won’t even bother to discuss him any further than the completion of this sentence. There.
Instagram-Instagram was all the craze last summer, then the reality set in: People’s lives really aren’t that interesting to post about daily. While Twitter avoided this harsh truth by becoming more of a public forum than simply people tweeting what they are doing, Instagram users really don’t have sh t to post, thus the plethora of #MCM, #WCW and quotes featuring celebrities, because they burned through all their outfits of the day and baby pictures. My posts are few and far between now, if anything it’s my artwork or if I just so happen to be feeling myself that particular day
“Album Drake”– I’ve always been iffy on Drake, he’s obviously talented but usually hit or miss with me. I’ve finally concluded that I can tolerate him on features, where he does a witty 16 and hook and gets the hell out the way, but a whole album complaining about how fame sucks but don’t mock him for it because he’s famous and has more money than you, keep that.
Yoga– Yoga mats are the new stripper pole, but it’s not objectifying because it’s fitness. Now the #creeplife side of me is here for it, go head on and do ya handsprings in a dress and heels because that’s completely practical. But overall, most people aren’t taking it that seriously, namaste deez.
Beards– Men like women. Women like beards. Men grow beards for women they like. Personally, I don’t like how I look with a beard, so beyond a little stubble between haircuts that’s all you’re getting out of me, I’m fly anyway.
3D Movies-3D is visually amazing when done properly. Avatar was a cheesy take on every Cowboy/Native American tale ever written but my God was it stunning to look at. However, most movies aren’t Avatar, they’re regular movies with 1 3D scene so they can charge an extra 6 dollars.
Bacon-I love bacon, I get it on my veggie burger because this is America. As a cult phenomenon it’s completely overdone, bacon t-shirt, bacon wrapped bacon, bacon colognes, it’s like a really long running joke that people don’t realize is over
Scandal- It’s not because the protagonist is the side chick, or is with a white man, or has power, or she can’t deliver 3 lines without lip quivering like she’s been finger blasted. I just don’t like it Sam I Am.
Bitstrips-Someone a year from now will stumble upon this blog and say wtf is a bitstrip. That’s all that needs to be said
“Turn Up”-Can white people start saying this so it can die already. It’s become a birthday wish, a clever euphemism for “I’m drunk” or Kevin Hart’s go to phrase when he’s clearly bombing at a live event…speaking of
Kevin Hart– He woefully needs a new act. Comedians tend to blow up and go stale (Hi Katt Williams) when they are overexposed and unable to work in new material, “Let Me Explain” was fuggin terrible and even the biggest Kevin Hart stans need to admit that
Beats By Dre– Dr Dre convinced the world they needed studio quality headphones for their smartphones, can’t knock the hustle
Honorable Mentions: Lady Gaga, Cable TV, Clubs, online dating, Network dramas having 22 episode seasons, #blacktwitter, iPhones, Marshall Mathers LP 2, Family Guy
Agree/disagree, love/hate….lemme hear it