Been a long time….y’all know the rest.
Of most of the women I dated, I typically got along with the family members I met. I’m sweet, I’m articulate, I’m awesome all that good stuff. The lone exception was “She” who I just didn’t get along with her sisters at all, and I had my reasons for feeling that way. She would always forgive them, as she should’ve, that’s family. I didn’t have to, they were immature, lazy, manipulative people. Regardless, I loved her, she loved me, and I took care of business. If they couldn’t respect that their whole perspective was wack. Their perspective was wack. Anyway, when the relationship ended, there was probably some validation on their part. Not that anything they thought about me was actually, true, but you know misery loves company. I felt bad about it, she had chose me over them, moved out, and now she was returning home with tail between her legs (although she was 23 and had nothing to be ashamed of, they were 30+ sleeping on twin beds but that ties into the whole manipulation aspect) anyway, as far as appearances went, she was dead wrong about me.
Fast forward to now, in somewhat of an ironic twist. My little sister has all but distanced herself from her family…for her boyfriend. Now tale of the tape, I was at least a college student, working 2 jobs with my own apartment, this dude is just a bum. Won’t delve too much into family business, but the point is she can do much better and no one is really shy about telling her that. Given my recent history, I’ve stayed neutral because pushing her away would only push her closer to him. She’s adopted a “us against the world” mentality which again, would be acceptable if perhaps my sisters were miserable and lonely, didn’t have much going for them and then I can see where the lack of credibility would factor. In this case, my sister just can’t bring herself to admit that maybe she whiffed on this one, that she’s going to eventually stomach the humble pie that comes from another failed relationship, that even with her best efforts, she was simply wrong.
As I’ve said before, you’re born into your family, your friends sprout from your environment, who you choose to love…that’s on you. Breakups will humble your ass whether you’re the dumper or dumpee. We enter relationships hoping it’s the last one and with each ex, another failure. I have quite a few of them then you count boos, dates, women I just fell for…..I really, really suck at this. There’s women I held on to too long for that reason, I couldn’t be wrong again, challenge the play, recount, appeal. I can assume the same could be said about me. Relationships are the penultimate investment of time, energy, emotions…official or not, you’re giving investing in this person and waiting for a pay out. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes you just give up and walk away and hope that you didn’t give up too much. It’s still prolonging the inevitable, I know couples who went through ups and downs and came out closer, I know men and women still broken from picking the wrong one.
Taking it back to my sister, Hurricane Fuckboy has severed her relationships with 2 sisters, a handful of friends, cpst a job, 2 places to stay, a cousin, probably thousands of dollars and just sucking every bit of respect from anyone close to her. She’s invested so much in this man, she can walk away and try to repair the damage or just keep going all in and hope that this is really the man God picked for her. (Spoiler alert: he isn’t.) She looks at him as the only constant in her life when in reality he’s the variable in everything that has gone wrong. With “She”, we cost ourselves time and had to suffer the embarrassment that comes with every failed relationship. We got up, brushed ourselves off and kept looking, and I don’t know about her but I’m struggling like Ciara doing Mariah covers. I can only hope my sister eventually sees the light and when she does it’s not when even bridge has been burned or he really shows his colors.
but I’m pretty sure that’s when I’d really have to step in and deliver fade But in the meantime, it’s them against the world…or something.