Once upon a time not long ago, really it was like beginning of the year. I was at the gym doing my thing, this girl walks by, petite but thick, sun kissed caramel skin, luxurious curly fro she had tied back into a ponytail, even though we’re in a gym she looks like she smells like almonds. She was dope. I smile, she smiles back, I go about my workout, maybe went a little harder than I usually do (I really had it together then…sigh, but thats another post, maybe the next one). Later that week, I’m at the grocery store I see this girl again, casually dressed with the right mix of mmph, once again catch glances we smile we go about our business. A week after that, I’m at my favorite froyo shop in she walks…okay, now I got to talk to her. So I introduce myself like “I’m Shyne and you, you’s my destiny” I forget where I was actually headed but we sat down with our yogurts and talked for a bit, she had just moved around here she was shocked to see another black face #noHalloween. She had other plans so we decided we should run into each other on purpose, we exchange numbers. Froyo guy was impressed.
We go out on a few dates we text each other, everything is going lovely…..except, despite being finer than the tip of a fountain pen, she’s not….that….smart. I mean I’m not exactly Einstein but let’s say she didn’t share the same passion for knowledge as I. (Nice save) She said things that literally stopped you in your tracks, like all emotions leave your face, if there was a camera rolling you would look dead at it. At first, I thought she was being silly, I would laugh some of these sillier comments off, others I really just reevaluated my decision making, like when she said she wanted to go to Miami for Memorial Day and asked did she need a passport.
There were plenty of gems of that nature, some I won’t even play myself and say. Fast forward a bit, we’re not a couple but we’re pretty cool so much she’s starting to meet friends and family. Suddenly, I start to see her under that blacklight, is THIS what I’m ready to ride with?
Full disclousre, I aint shit. I don’t have some brand to protect or much of a reputation period, but who you choose to align yourself with matters. Family you’re born into, friends you make in your surroundings (school, neighborhood, work), who you choose to commit to is completely on you. She’s becoming familiar with people closest to me, she now represents me. Now I find myself cringing on the inside when she’s talking to other people hoping she doesn’t embarrass me or shaking my head at her refusal to use there, their and they’re properly in an online status. Yes, common sense says we’re two different people but like an employee to a company, we’re linked. She is who she is, I wouldn’t try to change her nor could I. What I could change, is how she represents me.
Different roles, different standards. Her as a friend, it’s whatever, her as a girlfriend there’s qualifiers like “#shefinetho”. It works vice versa, me as a friend I can look like whatever, me the boyfriend that’s when the “nice” and “sweet” qualifiers come in, or maybe I’m too shy, nerdy or who knows why someone wouldn’t approve of me, I’m quite awesome. Of course, we could date eachother anyway and just go the Xscape route (see what I did there), but there’s no romantic chemistry and why start a book when you know how it ends.Alas, we’re just friends. And she thought a sink ran on electricity. She’s a sweetheart tho. Where am I going with this….oh yeah, representatives. We like to pretend nothing anyone says matters, big up imaginary haters, but appearances matter. We like to downplay our pasts but there’s always some stock in who you choose to represent you and your relationship.