Today’s Word is… PRIDE

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It can all be so simple…

If you’ve read long enough it’s actually something I reference quite often here, some things are simple black and white.  I miss you. I want you. I need you.  When you have that intimate connection with someone it’s easy to say, when you’re unsure no matter how much you mean it, you’re pride will tell you…nah.  Pride is a necessary evil, pride keeps you from doing things you regret, putting up with what you don’t deserve.  Pride is still an evil as far as relationships, pride will turn a disagreement into a fight, a misunderstanding into a break, a break into a what if.  There’s room for pride in a relationship but carry on only. Relationships are humbling, you’re giving your heart, loyalty and body to someone you can only trust to do the same based off their actions and your instincts.  It’s give and take, you do and hope for reciprocity, not as though that was your intent but you are both trying to make the other happy.  At least that’s how it should go, but what would I know?  #DjangoUnchose.

It comes down to priorities, and when that person is deemed worthy, they ought to better your pride and ego.  This is mistaken for dignity and self respect, but there’s a difference between getting over who should call who first and tolerating infidelity.  Swallowing pride isn’t a sign of weakness or concession, it’s saying “they’re more important than this”.  I spoke before on how I hate how dating has become about manipulation and leverage, a nice night out and spending time with a nice person is way more important than who picked up the check.  I’m pretty sure I told the story of girl who turned down a second date because she ALMOST paid for the movie, of course she reached back out years later, guess #themtraditions ain’t all what they’re cracked up to be. 

More recently, (more recently doesn’t make sense but I like how it sounds, let me cook.) I find my pride and my heart at odds.  I found myself in a situation where I just felt unappreciated with good reason.  My pride told me to count my losses. I sit up at night, wondering how did this all derail, I wake up to dismissive statuses (FYI: never ever ever follow boos on social media), maybe that’s her own ego at play, maybe it’s the truth manifesting itself. I’d like to think love is stronger than pride, that if it was real we wouldn’t find ourselves at this stalemate.  When it’s good it’s bliss, when it’s not, it’s terrible, and lately I’ve gotten a fair share of both so which is the blip which is the trend? I’m really unsure, which means apologies or shade, I can’t take her seriously anymore.

It can all be so simple…

Now have I actually let my pride ruin good things? Of course.  I let a rift with my sister go on so long it took losing our mother to get back on track, I couldn’t bring myself to forgive “Miss” for rejecting me the first time, I’ve ended relationships over the pettiest of reasons.  I understand now that sometimes my pride needs to be snatched up like Dez Bryant and told, “not now”.  Some people come along and their worth all the trouble, others maybe not.  I guess it’s a learning process to know the difference.

-Stan-

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