Today’s Word is… CONFIDENCE

So I’m on the train, I sit across from this very attractive woman, we make eye contact, we smile, she goes back to whatever she was doing on her phone. I do the same.  Next stop, this guy boards, an slightly older gentleman, unshaven, clothes desheveled, shoes filthy, he sits next to the pretty woman.  It’s a relatively empty train so I knew he was about rap to her, I turn my music down some to eavesdrop on some hilarity.  He starts off smooth, compliments her and whatnot, she smiles and thanks him.  He keeps talking to her about any and everything from her phone, to his ex, something about a fish, she’s politely nodding while he spoke and giving one word answers to every question but somehow he would manage to use it to keep the conversation flowing. Me and her exchange a few funny glances throughout the ordeal until she reached her stop, he pulls out a pen and a notepad, writes his number and @ name (Sidenote:are we at that phase now where we just giving out @ names, my twitter is pretty easy to remember no underscores or intentionally misspelled words, maybe dude is on to something) gives it to her, she rolls her eyes and smirks at me once more before she exits. 

Two things here, 1. I missed like 38947 signals, 2. I couldn’t help but admire homeboy’s confidence. Whether she actually uses that number or @ name or not, desheveled and all, he was able to approach an attractive woman and just have off the whim convo.  I could never do that.  It’s classic extrovert envy, while I’m still coming into my own and trying to be more confident, I don’t think I will ever be that brave.  My level of extrovertise (Yes I just made this word up) is based on my comfort level, if I’m comfortable I’m as open as if I was drunk. I never felt comfortable in high school, I was pretty popular in college. At work, some people I will go out with afterwards, others wouldn’t even recognize my voice. I rather shut myself down than play myself. 

Initially overhearing the train convo, I was embarrassed for dude.  I thought he was making a fool out of himself, she was not interested.  When I first saw her, even after she smiled, I saw her pull out her phone and I just took that as a sign. It can all be so simple in hindsight, I could’ve just broke the 4th wall and joined in the conversation, but even in a random chat between strangers on a train, i just felt uninvited. Before he even boards, if I had just went for it, this is a completely different post.  The life and times of an introvert, Welp. 



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2 responses to “Today’s Word is… CONFIDENCE

  1. Pingback: Today’s Word is… ABANDONMENT | Stan of Few Words

  2. Leonidas

    ” It’s classic extrovert envy, while I’m still coming into my own and trying to be more confident, I don’t think I will ever be that brave” – thats your problem in a nutshell.. lol… Dig your blog

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