So I’m on Twitter and I see there’s a buzz about a post on the Thought Catalog, “Date a Girl Who Writes“. My initial reaction, the post was of course excellently written, it was quite an enticing sales pitch, but no. I forgot how many writers I follow on Twitter so they was not about to let that fly by without an explanation. So I thought carefully about my answer, the tweet appropriate answer
“over thinks situations, struggles with discretion, writing becomes the escape im supposed to be”
But wait, that’s me. I don’t really consider myself a writer, per se, I have this blog but most of my posts are long winded rants and stories. I don’t consider this “writing”, this is expressing. However, I couldn’t help but wonder, have I become the undateable writer?
Let’s start with my original reasons. Overthinking (overthink is a word, if twerking can make a dictionary, I have faith in overthink and conversate, damn you red squiggle lines, let me be great) is definitely an issue of mines.
“Do I love her or the idea of her”
“Is this someone I want to be with forever”
“the 29084573 ways XYZ can go wrong”
I get in my own head probably way too much for my own or any future loves’ liking. I trust my instincts and a good 6/10 I have doubts about something they prove to be true but as someone who’s written about how there’s too much over thinking and strategizing in dating, I too probably do too much overthinking and strategizing in dating. I question the logic sometimes but it’s human nature to preserve our feelings as much as possible. If I dated a writer, I would wish she would leave her theories and projections at home and just enjoy the ride. However, even I can’t. How will I find love now when I’m thinking about months down the line.
Discretion, again, an issue. I do my best to tell my story without throwing others under the bus and I never promote my blog anywhere that people who I talk about would see it. Of course, the ones who have read it, just about everyone feels some type of way about it. I don’t think I shade any exes or family members, I tell stories in my own voice. There’s a difference between “this b tch aborted our child and I couldn’t even get a text” and reflecting on how I felt going through a crossroads point in my life. Point being, I’m not out here tryna be the black male Taylor Swift. But of course, I know how I feel when i read subliminal statuses and tweets, it annoys me when exes aren’t accountable or still cry victim to others. Right or wrong, no one wants to read anything even remotely critical about them. I hope one day you will read about me falling in love, making the transition from bachelor to husband, dater to….dad? But before I hop out of the window, what if this never happens because this hypothetical she didn’t like a post? What if it comes down to her or the writing (Spoiler alert, I’ll probably choose her)
Writing is a mistress. It knows all your dirty secrets, thoughts feelings and desires. You can read all 150? (I lost count) of my posts and probably get a better understanding of me than women who’ve dated me for months. Sometimes I don’t want to talk to anyone about it, it’s easier to just #tweetthruit or write a 600 word post, I don’t need comments, likes or emails, I’m just getting it all out. If I did date a writer, I would hate to read a post about how she felt when she didn’t want to talk to me about it. I would never want to be just another reader or follower, I want to be her peace. I assume she would want to be mine. I just said that if it ever came to love vs writing, I would choose love, I just hope I would never have to make that choice. I guess my fear is that I would fall in love with someone who would pick writing, or maybe I’m overthinking it (And that ladies and gentlemen, is a full circle).
Find a girl who writes because you deserve someone who will motivate you and humble you each and every day.
I agree with this line from the original post. All in all, I wouldn’t say a writer is a dealbreaker, it just takes some…patience to love one. I wouldn’t say my “writing” actually makes me undateable, it’s the 389750 other things. I too require some patience, some understanding, some will to love. It’s well worth it though, I’m awesome.