This was Octovembecember 2008…Idk I suck with dates. I do know it was junior year of ugrad. Anyway, so it was me and a couple associates sitting at breakfast, this dude had recently got dumped and was acting extra Drakeish about it. He would ramble on and on about her, would refer to her as “the bitch”. You’d think she cheated on him with his father, conceived a child who looks just like him who calls him Daddy Brother. Me and his ex were still cool, so she passed our table said hi to me, I said it back. “Don’t talk to that bitch, yo”, before I could even address the amount of sucker in that statement, she turns around fist clenched, catches him with a haymaker, he drops like a sack of potatoes. Of course the dining commons react and hilarity ensues. I mean he was down for a minute, I only wish it was today someone would’ve caught that K.O. on instagram. Okay, that somebody would’ve been me. Security on campus wanted to know what happened, I gave my account and for whatever reason ol boy expected me to take his side. How he expected me to go tell a tale about a 5 foot white girl knocked him the fuggout and it wasn’t his fault was beyond me, but after the incident we fell out. He kept a relatively low profile after that moved to a new part of campus that next semester. I hear he’s gay now, she knocked the heterosexuality out of him apparently. Anyway, point of the story besides it’s probably top 5 funniest things I ever saw and I’ve been dying for an excuse to tell that story here, also it was my first major interaction with a LAME.
You see, lames are a unique bunch. They just say/do things that are beyond comprehension to the normal person. Like dude got dumped, called a woman out her name got knocked out and got mad at his boys for not having his back? Only a lame could comprehend. Social media is filled with lames, people who just say things that only seem to make sense them and people like them.
Lames do shit like….
– put their hands on a woman
– leak private photos
– try and debate but get personal when they lose
– play Madden online and quit when they go down 2 scores
– run parody accounts on Twitter
– live tweet dates
– boast about their preferences that dont actually reflect their dating lives
– court women only by hating on other suitors
– will get jealous of close friends
– create multiple social media accounts to stalk someone
– post pictures of their kid online they didnt take or was even sent
– go to hookah bars just for the photo op
– date women they’re afraid to claim in public
– screenshot texts
– call women out their name when they get rejected
– think knowing about an artist before they hit mainstream is an accomplishment
– only comments they have on instagram is “do you have kik”
– Stand in line for sneakers just to take pics in them and sell them again
– be single as hell but expect loyalty from every girl in their phonebook
– get on the soapbox every tragedy and say we dont care about X anymore
– will use “turn up” for everydamnthing
– will complain to actual athletes about fantasy performances
– dress like him, him and the other guy but swear their original
– get drunk and use it as a free pass to act up
And bringing it full circle…get their ass kicked and not know what to do with themselves. Lames, man…gotta love them.