If you’ve been reading long enough you know I have a healthy disdain for dating. If you’re new here, Hi I’m Stan, thanks for reading, I fugging hate dating. I used to enjoy dating, meeting new people, all my stories were fresh, a reason to get out the house. What’s turned me off to dating is the paranoia these days, it’s played or get played round here. In the new wild west of dating, standards are just out of control, everything you say/don’t say do/don’t do is broken down and projected 3 months into the future, the slightest differences in opinion become long drawn out battles out of fear it might start a trend. The advice blog/book has become the new stretgy guide, because you gotta know what he knows before he knows you know so you know how to defend yourself. Yes, that was meant to sound as ridiculous as it does. Okay, I’m ranting….my point being that dating has become more about getting the most for less and not letting the other person have leverage over you, and this is what we choose to do? In our spare time? For our own enjoyment?
Picking battles is more art than science. Why is it important to you? Is it because its what your mama say, grandma say ma-ma-ku-sa or you are just so worried this one will get over like the last one did? I have my standards as do most people but the reasons I do is because I feel I wouldn’t be happy in a relationship without it. For example, I’m an expressive person, obviously it’s not going to work with someone who hates confrontation. I also don’t eat lunch meat (y’all can go head and stop side eyeing), does that mean I won’t date a woman who can’t cook? Probably not. It’s pretty much shooting yourself in the foot dismissing people for things other people think you should find important.
The reason I hate dating is it’s so full of rules an standards that people aren’t even trying to get to know me they are just filling out a checklist. I’ve gone on first dates where she paid, I’ve had sex on the first night, I’ve asked grips out via text, I’ve “chilled” for a first date. Now would I do any of those things now, probably not. But I ultimately ended up in a relationship with all 4 of them, because at the time I wanted to be with only them. A man committing himself to one woman without any sort of mind games or tests. What a novel concept. I’ve also met celibacy girl, I only date men above 6 ft girl, I don’t date black guys girl (have I told y’all about her before, I gotta work that story into a post some day), and men pay for everything girl. I never cared to keep up with them so I could lie and say they are still alone, actually yes, they are all alone because of their stupid rules and by laws. I’very said before, there is no cheat code or filter to finding a perfect mate. So why not just make yourself available and enjoy dating the old fashioned way?