Daily Archives: August 20, 2013

Today’s Word is… APPROACH

It’s time for an email, time for an email, time for an EEEEeeeeEEEEeee-E-E-E mail, yeah.  *Elle Varner voice*  Elle Varner gonna be my future ex wife, she just don’t know it yet.  Anyway, this one wasn’t so much a question as much as it was more of a random discussion about men’s reluctance to approach her in public.  She says she’s attractive (my inquisitive nature had to see what she looked like, she’s cute), friendly, she makes herself available, but when she’s out with friends or even alone, not even a nibble. Approaching in general is a lost art, it’s 1000 times easier to follow on twitter, exchange a few jokes, then email addresses, then phone numbers then fluids than actually politely interrupting a pretty woman in Wal-Mart.  The reader said she gets plenty of attention online but what good does that do when they live way over yonder or they’re local but flagrantly aint sh t.  (Sidenote: i wouldnt know but in my own head I assume most guys on dating websites arent single)

I also chatted with the reader about my own thought process when it comes to approaching or not.  I like to think I’m an introvert when really it’s just a convenient explanation to not talk to people when I don’t feel like it.  I’m a delight usually.  Confident, quick witted (is it me or have i been tooting the hell out of my own horn these past couple posts, oh well) I actually enjoy the sport of turning a stranger into a friend/lover/other.  However, I’m introverted in the sense that I think a lot of my approach before I ever implement.  My spidey senses have served me well for the most part even if I maybe let far too many opportunities slip in lieu of getting #thecurve (and I’ve caught some bad rejections smh).  I try to be….efficient.  

We also discussed that as a man in general, what would stop me from approaching someone who I was clearly attracted to?  It’s usually inconveniences she has a whole entourage, crowded ass dance floor, she didn’t smile when our eyes met.  At one point, I would be intimidated if she was just extremely attractive but as you meet more people you realize at the very core, anyone can be had it just takes attraction and charm.   Also, most guys figure she has a full roster so they don’t bother when it’s really the lowkey modest girl who be the real culprit.  Yup, I’m on to y’all. 

Simple solution, why doesn’t she take the initiative.  She doesn’t want to seem desperate and actually quoted something I had said that men will always find some use to a woman even if he’s not that interested.  I don’t think I said that, I’m too lazy to go back…it was probably out of context anyway. Even so, I don’t think forward women are desperate by any means I look at them as I would myself, I like to be in the drivers seat.  Limiting your options to simply who comes to you and hoping they meet your standard seems way more difficult than you simply going after what you want, but I guess it’s a pride thing.  Just ironic how we seemingly are always after something under the belief nothing is going to fall in our laps.  But an ideal mate, that’s just going appear any day now. 


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Filed under Dating, Love, Simply Stan