Mall, park, school, Target, mall, through a friend, school, bookstore (R.I.P. Borders), online, subway, bar, online, bar. What is where I met my exes? Yes, another Jeopardy reference, let me be great. You see, finding a girlfriend is relatively easy, find a good woman, a much more difficult task. The word “good” is tossed around a lot, and for the most part its used to summarize anyone desirable (nice personality, something going for themselves, little to no baggage, pretty good idea on what they want in a relationship). I meet plenty of good women regularly by that definition, but just because a woman is good, doesn’t mean she’s good for me. Let me say it again, just because a woman is good, doesn’t mean she’s good for me. I have a right to be a little selfish in regards to what I want, but all too often we are guilted into just taking “close enough” (see: mystery girl from last week) what’s safe (see: well, me.). I consider myself a good guy, but I’m also expressive, if you hate confrontation I’m probably not that guy. I’m more of a homebody, if you need adventure I’m probably not that guy. Of course on paper, I’m a good guy. So when that hypothetical woman meets me and wasn’t feeling it, guess who’s picky now?
That’s what’s tricky about the “good” guy or girl, it’s hard to say no to someone who is seemingly red flag-less. Now if I had 3 kids, and worked as a cashier, and live tweeted our date with the hashtag #shewantsthatwork she could say “hell no” and no one would think twice. If a woman lives at home, smokes and posts thirst traps on instagram all day, and has the nerve to have income requirements to date, I could delete her number the second I saw she got in the house okay and no one could blame me. Decent people who you just don’t quite like…that’s all on you. See the 298482 blog posts on “this why yo ass single”.
So what’s good? Allow me to get fake deep and poetic for a second:
Good is a warm, inviting smile
Good knows exactly what to say, and exactly what to hear
Good knows how to defer and let a man be a man
Good appreciates the little things
Good is in full control of their emotions (okay most women aren’t but one can’t dream)
Good can hook a lasagna up (just saying)
Good supports him from his job to his fantasy team
Good treats everyone like they’re special
Good swallows…..her pride
Good is selfless
Et cetera Et cetera and what not. Most importantly, good people don’t have to constantly say they are. They don’t have to defend themselves when you speak of non so great people because they know they don’t apply. Others vouch for them, or you simply get to know them and you know. They just have that to them, reading/writing this they just come to mind and you just….well never mind.