Today’s Word is… CHILL

“Yeah it’s my birthday today”

“Oh Happy Birthday….you look pretty today what you doing later”

“Probably going out….wait aren’t I always”

“Pretti-ER I should say”

*360 windmill eye roll and goes back to work*

Reason #48592 why you can’t compliment women ever.  Women tend to look at things for what they aren’t instead of what they are.  This is especially annoying to me because I’m very blunt and direct, there’s no Da Vinci Code in my words.  People get this they just choose to not understand it.  They rather make their own conclusions and deductions like conspiracy theorists who think secret societies which have existed for millennia are manifesting themselves in Jay-Z videos.  This holds especially true in dating, or lack thereof.

Traditionally speaking, if a guy asks you out he will call you up or ask face to face (not text because they would expect an immediate answer and not have to be just watching their screen like they’re playing Final Fantasy in 1998) said girl on a date.  That is not to be confused with merely hanging out or chilling. They’re not in the same league, don’t shoot at the same basket.  Men like dating, men also like enjoying a woman’s company.  Dating, as much as it’s encouraged to be yourself you’re still dressed up, trying to put your best foot forward.  Women who come over to hang out are a lot more lax and you get better glimpses in who they are.  Yet for the most part, “chilling” just rubs some women the wrong way.  A study by the Bureau of Made Up Statistics say 73% of Women are just opposed to it.  An actual poll of mine suggested it was more 50/50.  The common reasons why she’s anti-chill

Just wants sex-  Plenty of women think hanging out is just guy speak for “you coming to get this work”.  The paranoia is instilled early that men are ruthless sexual deviants that if a woman lets her guard down for a second we shall pounce.  It ain’t that deep.

It’s not a date- We don’t rock the same clothes, hit the same spots, cuz its levels to sh*t. Word to Candy Crush Saga.  While we’re still spending time, the vibe is typically more light and casual and for some women, they’re not here for it.

He’s Just Not That Into You- Worse thing you can call a woman who is romantically interested in you, a friend.  Chilling at the crib instead of being wined, dined, hit from behind, the writing is on the wall that your role has been determined, thanks for playing.  Of course women don’t take rejection well, ironically, as they are willing to go on dates with guys they aren’t interested in but won’t subject themselves to just be friends with someone they are.  I’m sleep tho.

Alone Time?- This one I sympathize with, its always odd when you over someone’s house and there’s already like 10 people there.  Even if nothing is going down, I’ll rather it’d be me, you and at most a few others.

It’ll become a habit- If a man is interested in dating you, he will date you.  Even the brokest dude will find somewhere to take you if he’s that invested.  If you have to ask why y’all always hanging in the house and don’t go anywhere, you should know the answer.

Looking at them both for what they are and not what they aren’t, dating and chilling are both necessary.  If all you do is go out on dates, you’ll find yourself more caught up in the courting process than the person. If all you do is chill, you’ll never be taken seriously as a suitor or as the courted.  The key is finding balance.

-Stan-

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