Been a long time. Shouldn’t left you. Without a blog post to step to. I never liked that Aaliyah song. Anyway, over this lovely 4 day weekend I got caught up on some reader emails. Now on most blog sites, you get an email, you open with said email, and your response is the post, but I like to discuss the issue with the reader and then post it post discussion. Triple entendre, don’t even ask me how. I prefer this way, one it helps with the typical storytelling style of the blog, and I think conversations work so much better than just one long answer to a question. Anyway here’s the yada yada yada:
Girl meets boy online, embark on long distance relationship, for almost a year. They skype so he knows she’s no Catfish, but they havent met in person so she could smell like Catfish. They make plans she keeps cancelling, on the latest cancellation he says he’s done, the next week gets a local girlfriend. Girl is confused how he can move on so quickly, would like some closure on the issue.
We touched on a few things, why the cancellations, what she wants now, the elephant in the room that he got a girl in a week…but what kept turning up was the sense of entitlement she felt that after a year, he can just be done. She felt she deserved a little more respect than that. I can understand her view but I agree with his. One, because as a reader she was well aware that my number one rule to long distance relationships, is no cancellations. Long distance takes a lot of patience and hope, you lose one or both, you lost period. He simply lost hope in her.
Sometimes you just got to know when to fold em. He had invested a year in words and breasts on a screen, okay I don’t know how real their skype sessions got but I’m just assuming, a year you should be get to e-second base, right? Whatever. He realized he was putting time and energy into something that wasn’t playing out how he envisioned. He was left with two choices, keep investing and hoping it pans out, or just take you were in a year relationship and all you got was an e-shirt. Okay, let me be a little more sensitive, hell I’m currently feeling someone who’s a wee bit out my jurisdiction, but thats another post, maybe.
As for her she’s at that same crossroad, she’s invested a year into someone and it’s just…over? How can he just be over it that quickly? Does he not care? Did he ever? She wants answers, but is she owed them? I’ve discussed “closure” before and perhaps my position evolved as i do see it as a necessary evil. It should be simple and to the point, this won’t work because ________, don’t debate me on it, don’t ask about who I’m seeing now, take the humble pie with a glass of accountability. To an extent, he gave her that, he told her he couldn’t take her seriously anymore. Explaining the new girlfriend, maintaining a friendship, seeing her when he’s in town in a few months, he doesn’t owe her any of that. Only return on this investment is a lesson learned.