Today’s Word is… ROSTER

“That’s a really nice shirt, where’d you get it”

I think I made up some lie, because well, I ain’t sh t.  However I know exactly when and where I got this shirt.  Macy’s….in 2006.  I had bought it for an interview for some job I never got, and while I should be happy that

A) I can fit clothes from high school
B) I pulled it off

It also made me realize C) Why did I still have this shirt that was actually a size too small for me back when I bought it 7 years ago.  I think I was gonna return it.  Probably I don’t part with much.  I still have sneakers from high school, I’ll never wear again, throwback jerseys, Facebook pokes from girls I was crushing on freshman year of college.  There’s a lot of unnecessariness in my life (yes unnecessariness is a word, or maybe it isn’t who cares).

This came to mind when I got a reader email (love those btw), it was a lengthy convo so I’ll paraphrase: basically she was asking for advice about a guy she was talking to for a minute but it’s never materialized to anything but also he seems to have no qualms talking about other women to her.  She clearly seemed to know what time it was and just needed confirmation but her final follow up was interesting, “why do guys always need to have extra women they know they don’t want?”  She also mentioned he’s twice gotten into exclusive relationships with other women,  but never her. Why?

Contrary to popular belief men will put all his eggs in one basket if he feels its worth it.  In the meantime, he will establish a roster of complementary pieces who all fulfill some need, like the Denver Nuggets.  Men see, court, conquer women and when they ultimately figure out she’s not it, instead of counting their losses they find other uses.  Sex, advice, network, flattery, just someone whose company you enjoy, or even someone they themselves are trying to get see them in a different light.  Most single men aren’t alone, there’s always someone.  Like an NBA roster, most would send the whole team away if it meant getting someone they felt was worth it. 

I have a roster, not intentionally it’s just how it plays out.  I’m not exactly juggling 6 women at the same time, but I pride myself on being a good judge of character, if I like you as a person why wouldn’t I want to keep you in my circle in some capactiy.  I’m in a few rosters, I’m a nice guy, maybe not her cup of tea but there’s no reason to shun me completely….I think.  The issue with rosters, is no one likes feeling like they aren’t good enough, why her and not me just as my reader inquired?  It’s humbling to know you’re only a role player in his heart and often most would leave before they accept it. Hi Miss.  However, it’s reality, we all can’t be the love of everyone’s life.


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