This might be one of those rant posts that makes more sense to me than you….ride with me anyway…
You ever see a fast food commercial, the food looks so perfectly well prepared and appetizing, you just got to have it? You go to an actual drive thru and voice over the speaker sounds kind of sultry, you pull up with a smile and she’s not as cute as she sounds? However, she smiles sweetly as she takes your $100 even though you had smaller bills you wanted to stunt before you realize what kinda car you in? Then you realize you shouldn’t be self conscious for someone who works at a fast food place. Then you remember your ass used to be a lot attendant so who are you to judge, then you realize even though you’re only reading you feel like you need to take a deep breath.
So the disgruntled manager hands you your order, upset he worked 15 years at this place and now he got to fulfill orders since they’re short staffed because someone is late and he can’t fire him, he’s his nephew. You get to a red light, open your bag and take out the Burger and it don’t look anything like the commercial that made you burn 1134 calories to rationalize eating in the first place? Well that’s a relationship. It’s never quite what you anticipated when you went in. No pun intended.
I suck at relationships. It befuddles me, I’m honest, sweet, caring and sh t. I mean yeah I’m a flirt, stubborn to a fault, and will avoid the hell out of a confrontation, but otherwise I made myself so easy to love. Women like me until they like me, then they like want nothing to with me, and become cold well, like me. Quadruple entendre don’t even ask me how. The irony in this is that I’m almost always the one who breaks things off. However, that’s merely a formality, as I said the other day, when its clear the relationship is going in the wrong direction, I rather break it off before resentment and regret plagues any chance of maintaining a healthy friendship. But that doesn’t change the fact that somewhere down the line, I failed. I still struggle to understand why. Relationships should be easy in theory, stay honest, stay growing, meet expectations. Right?
It can all be so simple, but I rather make it hard. Actually I just wanted to make a Lauryn Hill reference, I don’t think I’m asking for much. Communication, respect, space, trust, affection these should be the standards, I shouldn’t have to earn them. Relationships I feel become more complicated than they have to be because people can’t seem to stomach the fact they just aren’t ready for one. It’s so much more than I like you you like me let’s not be with anyone but each other. There’s expectations to be met, don’t inquire about a job for which you are not qualified. Yet we do anyway, selfishly. Perhaps just out of territorial nature, or we think love conquers all.
Relationships are understandably frustrating, you’re constantly in conflict between your desires and theirs, minor issues and long term goals, temptation and loyalty. However, I feel those things work themselves out with the right person. A relationship shouldn’t be an experiment to see if you can change them, or to keep them from going elsewhere, or just to avoid being alone. It’s a meeting of expectations, a cleansing of doubts, a promise to love. It’s a step forward towards the ultimate goal of building a life together….otherwise why not just be two people who are attracted to one another?