Today’s Word is… IRK

I rarely have dreams and when I do they’re either weird, a telltale sign that I’m oversleeping or both. I always say I’m going to write them down before I forget but I say a lot of things. I’m lazy.  But this dream in particular i remember bits and pieces vividly.  It was an outdoor wedding, friends and family all make cameos, it’s my wedding….I think.  I’m either the Groom or a Groomsman, I just remember fumbling a ring around in my pocket, not a wedding band but an engagement ring.  Am I proposing?  Did I get dumped?  I look at the ring, it’s huge diamond and sapphire, that’s “She’s” birthstone, was this…..BEEP.  Dream over, I’m awaken by some jackass honking his horn for a neighbor.  I mean it’s 2013, you couldn’t just text them to come outside, actually get out the car, walk up a few stairs and ring the doorbell, and it’s Sunday, one day I actually get to sleep in.  I hate people like that. 

I check my phone, 3 missed calls, drunk text rant about how I’m not answering, and my phone barely charged.  It’s going to be that type of morning I see.  I go to the gym, which is full of plenty of it’s own annoyances.  Today is going to be unpleasant if only there was something to cheer me up like memes mocking Drake and Miguel Hulk Hogan leg dropping a fan on a live awards show. I complain to my friend, she says I hate everything which couldn’t be farther from the truth.  I don’t hate anything really, things just….irk me. 

Like I don’t hate Fox News, it just irks me
People who applaud at the end of a movie in the theater irk me
Tyler Perry movies irk me
Bandwagon fans irk me
Traffic irks me
Pandora ads that buffer irk me
Flo Rida irks me
“Was that tweet/blog post about me” texts irk me
People who still have ringback tones irk me
Parody twitter pages irk me
Colin Cowherd irks me
People who don’t know the your/you’re difference irk me
Dudes who wear sunglasses in the gym irk me
People who talk to me with headphones in irk me
People who steal my tweets and post them as Facebook statuses irk me
Exes who call me “stranger” irk me
Fake eyelashes irk me
Women who screenshot texts irk me
This colored lipstick trend….well it’s getting there
Supermarket tabloids irk me
Mayonnaise’s whole existence irks me
Strangers on the subway who touch other people’s kids/pets irk me

But you know…besides that….I don’t hate anything.

-Stan-

             

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