You ever go on a date and it just feels like a job interview? Enter Ms. Inquisitive, who seems nice but I instantly caught a vibe she read her fair share of relationship blogs/books. She asked questions out the blue, it was clear which statements she was making a mental note of. She kind of reminded me of “Miss” whom I would joke has a yellow notepad just full of notes just trying to figure me out. At the end of the evening I wasn’t sure whether to hug and kiss or shake her hand and write a thank you note. I minds well have just handed her a resume to review. Actually what would my dating resume look like? Where do I stand out, what would be the things I would edit out if I ever needed to bring it down to a page? (Also who the hell determined a real resume has to be one page, I think it’s silly my font is down to size 9 now). What would I look for on someone else’s?
Contact Information: How can I reach you? Are we gonna text all day, are you ever free to date, do I have to like an instagram to get your attention? Are you one of those people who keeps getting they phone shut off and got a new number every 3 months (seriously we in our 20s now, no excuse for that). I’ve spoken already on my feelings on texting/availability.
Objective: What are you looking for? A husband? A good time? Most people aren’t forward about what they truly want. In a job sense you’d make the necessary concessions out of desperation and fear of having nothing at all. In a dating sense, nothing at all isn’t as damaging as one makes it out to be. If I’m looking for a committed relationship I’m not going to just have flings in the meantime (OK maybe, I ain’t sh t tho)
Education: Studies suggest you should find your future spouse in college. Oops. Although it makes sense that if you’re looking for an educated person with a promising career path, they typically are in college. Or Starbucks. Also, what have you learned about relationships, do you still have unrealistic expectations of what a partner should be? What did Yeezy teach you? Unfortunately I’ve perhaps been enrolled in this school of hard knocks too long, enough to know what I want but also so much that I pretty much assume too much but maybe that’s another post entirely….moving on….
Experience: What type of people you’ve dealt with? Are you really over that last one? Am I coming onto a clean slate or do I have to fix the mess left to me #Obamaflow. I’ve pretty much tested all types of relationships, long distances, college sweetheart, clingy woman, emotionally unavailable woman, single parent, sidechick, sidedudes…it gives me perspective on a lot of things. Or I take whatever I can get and not sure what I really want…..oh wait that’s my professional resume -_-.
References: I hate any statement that starts with “all men…..” It speaks not only to her small mindedness but also some lack of accountability. In a perfect world there’s a whole bunch of perfect women and men are just having so much fun they can’t pick one, or one just isn’t quite the catch she makes herself out to be and her exes see it. That’s where references come in. Who can vouch for you? Not saying every ex has to be buddy buddy or still have feelings but if everyone you ever dated despises you…that’s a bad sign.
Volunteer Experience: Slight reach but ride with me. What are you doing with others you’re not committed to. If you’re still messing with your ex/fwb etc., why would I put forth the extra effort when its clear it’s not required? If I’m in a bunch of pseudo-relationships with other women, how can I expect her to take me seriously? Essentially what is the incentive to dating you exclusively?
Ms. Inquisitive seemed to like what she heard enough to want to see me again. Ultimately, I declined. Nothing against her, okay maybe a little against her, she had her share of dealbreakers that may or may not come up in another post. But regardless of that, I’m ready to hand my resume in to one employer in particular.