When I start off posts with a song it’s usually because I like it/relate to it. This is not one of them. The above track is a song I don’t particularly like, “Bad” by Wale. It’s like those twitter/tumblr quotes I also don’t particularly care for. For those who haven’t heard the song, it’s essentially about a woman who self proclaims she’s damaged goods and unworthy of meaningful love, but she ride that thing like a rodeo champ tho. Its a clever play on the word “bad”, but the song, the message itself. Meh. It’s all too a relevant mantra however, as it seems some are embracing it. Years of failed relationships have all but told them they simply aren’t worthy of one. Why not just settle for physical needs instead. But hey c’est la vie.
I’m weird. I’m not one of those OMG sex is most precious thing in the world you must treasure it always type, but I’m also not one to just touch anybody. A “bad” chick wouldn’t interest me however, I need a little more from you. However, I’ve sure accounted for my fair share, exes, flings, neighbors who are offering nothing but golden tickets or assume that’s all they’re good for. Enter CC, an old summer flame. Now me and CC, met at a party, exchanged numbers, ran into each other at another party hooked up that same night. Only God can judge me. But the thing was as we talked more, we liked each other. We started doing more coupley things, nothing official no pressure, until she told me
“I’m afraid of commitment”
It was odd. I’ve seen/heard of men using that line, never a woman. Not that I wanted a relationship but it was an interesting pre emptive strike that made me inquire deeper. She basically explained she was over relationships all the people she dealt with lied and cheated so why do it to herself. I guess I understood. However, I wasn’t a strictly FWB guy. I wasn’t just going have sex and then show her the door, there’s something cold and robotic to that. We can be friends, we can hang out, you’re watching too many movies. It was funny I didn’t want her but it was the principle. So I called her bluff, stopped calling, texting, chilling, come thru, go home. Ultimately it fizzled out, I’m a courter. I’m a charmer. I’m a hunter. I need something else to hold my attention.
What was sad about CC and a few others like her was that they all but conceded on the notion they were worthy partners and just decided to get in where they fit in. Just last week, I had someone pour out her heart to me then turn around and sleep with someone else the next night. Well, now this is awkward. Her rationale; that was just sex she wants more from me. Ummm I’m flattered? It’s ironic really, men typically are accused of just chasing skirts until they reach a point they say, now I’m ready for love. These “bad” women are essentially doing the same thing. Men are constantly being told to step up, appreciate a good woman when you have one, shouldn’t these women be held to that same standard?