So I’m just browsing on Instagram, my friend, umm bout time she got a nickname “Amiga” posts a picture of her and her homegirl. I commented that they looked cute, the friend responds and we have a small friendly conversation via the comments. “Amiga” calls me, “cut the sh t”. Well, hello to you too. She strongly opposes any union between her and her friend, obviously she wouldn’t want her two best friends to hook up for obvious reasons but it was interesting that she made it seem like she was protecting HER from me, I’m the good one.
“I was just responding to a comment, but even so what’s wrong with me I’m a nice guy”
“You’re too nice”
“So you want her with a jerk”
“You are a jerk Tristan, you’re just nice about it”
She went in, on how I act oblivious to my affect on other people. Apparently, I make people fall for me when I have no intention of catching them. It sort of brought me back to my flirting post, is even being nice misleading? The bar can’t be set THAT low can it?
“Amiga” brought up how there isn’t much difference from the way I treat a woman whether its her, a girlfriend, ex, or waitress. Ironically enough, everyone still swears I treat a better than b. My life. But anyway according to her, as long as I have my charm on hundred thousand trillion, I will always come off as someone who wants more than I’m intending. Then when I don’t turn out to be anything more than just a nice guy, I’m just a jerk. Logic is fun. I sincerely want to maintain a friendship when the relationship doesn’t work out, I enjoy making the cute cashier blush, is that so wrong? But as I said the other day, my biggest problem will always be I assume everyone understands me.
Amiga does. Over the years she’s become immune to it, I can call her beautiful and she’ll respond with shut up. Although there were times where we might could’ve been something but one of us always backed out. No one else doesn’t understand this nice by default nature so the way they see it, Oooh I think he likes me. But then when I actually don’t like them, they are completely mindfcuked and suddenly I’m the jerk who doesn’t know what he wants. Whatever.
However, this is all an interesting perspective seeing as I spent other posts like this, that, and others talking about how the nice guy stays losing. The nice guy finishes last, the nice guy gets friend zoned, the nice guy is too safe. But maybe it’s all a cover. Are nice guys just jerks in shining armor? How is it being nice at 18 got me called “bestie” and “brother” now at 24 gets me called “jerk” and “player”? Simple, when a one wants something even the slightest gesture means everything. I remember I had a big crush on a girl in my class, we actually were pretty cool but in my mind it had to be more. Every hug, status, dance I felt was drawing me closer to her, she disclosed to me she had a crush on someone as well….my boy. Damn tease, let his underachieving ass tutor you then. I kid, we’re all still cool.
As great as friends are, it will always be a downgrade if you truly have stronger feelings. It’s frustrating because even as you try to hate them, you really have no reason to be. They aren’t in control of your feelings. Amiga says I’m a “nice” jerk because I insist on being nice even though I know I’m probably doing more harm than good, killing them with kindness in a way. She had a point with exes but people I’ve never been involved with I don’t see the logic. You can’t control who falls for you? Can you?