Today’s Word is… FLIRT

I’m out with a few colleagues, they’re as boring out of work as at work so I start to wander around a bit, I find myself at coat check ready to call it an evening.  On the way  out I run into a friend of mine, he’s with his own group.  I catch up with him as I get ready to leave, and a woman approaches.  She basically says her and her friends are looking for some company, so we should grab a table, recheck our coats *shot*, and  we’ll all have a drink.  Now I really only knew one guy in the group but she was cute as were 2/3 of her friends, we were all brothers in arms now.   The approacher seemed particularly interested in me, and we were definitely hitting it off then she went to the bathroom and next thing you know she was dancing with another.  Shrug life.  One of the dudes was stunned at the development was she just all over me, did I strike out that vehemently.  Honestly I was a little confused myself but I wasn’t going to play myself even in front of strangers.     In essence, I wasn’t tripping, she was just flirting as was I.  (Later I would link back up with her and exchange numbers, I might’ve just did so dude could see I don’t get played but that was more of an ego move, I really wasn’t expecting much more than mild amusement)

The other day on Twitter, I said the difference between flirting and misleading is interpretation.  Some people agreed with the assessment.  Likely shameless flirts themselves, don’t think they are doing anything wrong.  Others disagreed.  Some said it’s the intent that makes the difference.   However, intent is something you can’t control.  You never know what one’s intent truly is you can only choose how to accept it.  In a perfect world only people you would meet would be single, emotionally available, and your type.  The world isn’t perfect.   The girl from the bar could’ve truly liked me, just wanted to nab drinks for the team, or was too drunk to know what she was doing.  What I could control is how I interpreted it, I took it to be a fun night.   I guess I came a long way, because years ago I probably would’ve been blew her phone up, ready to claim her quicker than Manti Te’o.  But it’s never misleading when women do it…apparently.

but you said i was pretty

When it comes to flirting, women are Michael take your pick, Tyson, Jackson, Jordan, game six.  Men are taught to take everything with a grain of salt, don’t fall in love with strippers, all that jazz.  Men have over time developed the skills but when we do it it’s leading on or the blogosphere favorite “mixed signals”.  I’m accused of this a lot, part of it is because I’m an introvert, I pick up on vibes or lack thereof and act accordingly.  If I sense she’s into me, I’ll flirt (perhaps this does more harm than good, but completely brushing off someone because I have no romantic interest in them seems..mean *shrug*).  Also I’m one to call a spade a spade, I will kindly remind a woman who she is to me.  If you’re not the only one, just a friend, someone I don’t like in that regard, I will let you know shattering any illusion set forth by compliments and innuendos.     As I said it’s all about interpretation, my best friend is my best friend because she would never ever ever take me seriously, as I her, she could’ve had me at 16, she aint bout nothing.

Flirting is the lowest common denominator in men/women interaction, if you have nothing else to talk about, flirt, given they’re straight, attracted and not completely whipped, most likely you’ll get a response.  So how can you differentiate flirting and interest?  By acting upon it.  Communicating and not assuming, accepting a position and not spending time trying to change it.  Women who said I misled them, either didn’t come straight with their feelings, or otherwise convinced themselves I was playing games and not that I just wasn’t into them.  

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