Today’s Word is… SINGLE

So I was talking to Ms.Wit again, she sent me a screenshot of something she was writing to another guy, asked how I would respond if a girl said that to me.  I’m weird, I like sweet, sappy gestures like that so my hypothetical response was something just as sweet and sappy, as his was an lol :).  Tough crowd.  This wasn’t the first time she brought him up or even my response to something he said or did, so I inquired why she seems to be going so hard for a guy that doesn’t seem to be into her worth it.   She talked about how he was sweet sometimes, how he made her feel, yada yada yada but she wanted more than what he was offering.  How just about every guy she dated seemed to be content with the pseudo-relationship (perhaps some shots were aimed at me, I did the Matrix tho).   She concluded her rant with a “maybe I’m just meant to be single”.  I get this a lot actually.

Of the single women I talk to regularly whether friend, relative, coworker, neighbor, they all seem to share that same sentiment.  Is there really no man worthy of all the awesomeness, what more is there to ask for?   Single males I know are typically single because A)They are already getting consistent sex, food and attention from somewhere and see no incentive to settle down

B)Women just ain’t checking for them either because physical or personality

C)They’re like me, just really particular about who they are with (often accused of being A’s or they are B’s with too high standards)

Being single gets somewhat of a bad rap these days as it’s become synonymous with promiscuity or loneliness.  I’m far from either.  I date casually but I don’t got Romney binders of women, I’ve had my share of boring Friday nights but I’m not sulking about it.  I consider myself a C, because while I’m not pressing to find a girlfriend, my feelings on casual dating have been well documented here and I ain’t that ugly.  I don’t look at being single as some sort of referendum on me, or other women I dated, nor do I wear it like a badge of honor.   It’s more of a coincidence, I happen to not be in a relationship with anyone.  Nothing more, nothing less.   It took me a while to accept that, there was a time where I kept trying to tweak things.  I was down on myself I was too fat, too black, too ugly, too broke, too nice.  Then it wasn’t me it was them…they wanted immature thugs, they wanted soft emotional dudes, they just want to be unhappy.  Then I found the first girl who liked me for me and wasn’t just looking for attention.  Lost her but still, message received and whatnot.

Basically.

Back to my conversation with Ms.Wit, she’s not as optimistic as I.  She blames herself, her choices (although she’s good for not voicing her expectations), and men in general.  She’s confused as to why not her?  As are many, thus the plethora of blogs/books/seminars trying to explain what really is just dumb luck.  Every girlfriend I ever had was a random meeting, whether in person or online.  I don’t think I ever tried, well actually I did try before, back when I was the only guy in my circle who was woefuly single and was always pressured to talk to every girl that passed, let’s just say I failed. Miserably.  Ms.Wit thinks there’s something wrong with her, there’s something men just aren’t seeing in her.  I tell her how amazing she is all she has to do is stay true to her standards and he’ll fall into her lap.  I sound full of it (seeing as I won’t date her), but I really meant it.  We all get too in our own heads sometimes, trying to fix things that needn’t. She asked what should be her next move with dude.  I personally think she can do better but I told her just do what makes you happy.  Don’t get caught up in what should and shouldn’t be at what point.  Enjoy his company but remind him he’s still only using a trial version, remind yourself you can still date around.   If you’re single, be single.  Don’t give relationship perks to friends, make him earn it. What do he think he’s me or something?

-Stan-

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2 Comments

Filed under Dating, Simply Stan

2 responses to “Today’s Word is… SINGLE

  1. fourpageletter

    C)They’re like me, just really particular about who they are with (often accused of being A’s or they are B’s with too high standards) <-but sometimes they are. it's not just an accusation.

    and being a man that's single and being a girl that' single – 2 different things my friend.

    nothing is more frustrating than being the right kind of girl on paper and not seeing the results in real life. but i am making a conscious effort to only speak positive and my wishes into existence.

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