So I finished all my Christmas shopping and as luck would have it as I spent all my money, my phone breaks. Bah, humbug. I’m now in day 3 of phonemaggeddon. It’s been a weird few days out of the matrix but perhaps a necessary few. I only really miss it on my daily commute but in the meantime I have books and people watching. As I spent the passing days admiring the various pieces of eye candy that I typically miss because I’m ironically looking at pieces of eye candy on instagram, I notice a girl. What caught my attention was her voice, slight accent, sexy and feminine, she could read me nutritional facts all day. Her hair auburn and wavy, probably weave but still nice. Well put together outfit that gracefully fits her curvaceous frame, she was about to turn around…please don’t let the fantasy be kilt like a Kanye concert outfit. Soft mahogany skin….full glossed lips, dimple piercings that are so overdone these days but it fits her… and the biggest damn eyelashes you ever seen. Like no way she could see, she must have sonar. I never got the fake eyelash trend anyway. Looking like Snuffleupagus.
In my last post I talked about how men typically aren’t allowed to judge women physically, well unless it’s positive. There’s no way to say so without sounding shallow. Ask a man what he finds unattractive, if he’s smart he’ll stick to the basics: liars, insecure, slutty etc. I’m not that smart. I’ve spoken extensively about what men in general and I personally find attractive but never what I’m not. So alas my one small step for man things men find physically unattractive. Do I really need a disclaimer that I’m not speaking for all men, OK cool.
Excessive Makeup- like most things less is more. Seeing a woman caked up to the extreme makes me think little girl playing dress up. Also I grew up in a household of all natural beautiful women and makeup was a no go. My mother rarely used anything and expected the same for her daughters
Bad Hair- Weave, perm, fro, short, long, blonde, brunette, most men don’t care as long as it’s done.
Grooming- Like bad hair we may not notice everytime it’s done but we sure will notice when it needs to be. Never let us notice when it needs to be. That goes for eyebrows, nails, feet, body hair.
Sprays n stuff- After a certain age a man has to have a decent Cologne game and women the same. It’s time to graduate from bath n body works and stop smelling like jolly ranchers all the time.
Clothes- It goes beyond pajamas in public, women who rock leggings like dress pants, shirts too damn small, trying so hard to look different you look a fool, a woman that can dress catches my eye over the half naked one. I’ll take the mystery box and peel off layer by layer later.
And finally fake. Not just hair, if you got a fake bag, knockoff shoes, it just says high maintenance. Going above and beyond what is even necessary to maintain a “look”. Girl with the eyelashes was genuinely pretty but the eyelashes just threw it all off. Society girl from the last post would say I’m being judgmental again, maybe her eyelashes burned off saving a puppy from a burning house. But whatever, ain’t like every girl finds average height, darkskinned, chubby dudes popping. No one is attractive to everyone regardless what People magazine says. Maybe Beyonce even racists got to find her dope. What say y’all, what are your physical turnoffs don’t be all self righteous let it rip