So I was watching “Finding Nemo” with a boo over the weekend.
“I used to always cry at the end of this movie”
“You’re such a loser”
“Oh so you’re too tough to cry”
“Not saying that, I cry at like cry-able things, not cartoons”
“Like the Super Bowl”
“Get out my house”
I was still gentlemanly, had her text me when she got in. But for the record during the Super Bowl I only turn my off my tv and the phone and went to bed instantly and went a whole week without watching ESPN even though I had taken that Monday and Tuesday off assuming there would be celebration and a parade, daytime TV sucks. I ain’t cry tho. I love my teams but I took the 2008 ALCS, 2010 NBA Finals, and Super Bowl XLII & XLVI like a man. Why am I crying over a game, or money I didn’t care to lose or I wouldn’t have bet it anyway. I get that from my father who was the prototypical “man up” Dad. I remember one time I was playing Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker and he told me he had to return it to the video store. I cried and threw a fit, he went to the store, renewed it and told me I still couldn’t play it. I ain’t cry that time, the ban still stood tho. My family is weird like that we’re not overly emotional, the love is assumed and expressed through insults and sarcasm. We were like a black version of Roseanne. I legitimately remember my father crying 3 times, when he told us about the divorce, his mother’s funeral, my mother’s funeral. Oh and another time from laughing but it was at my expense. Dick. He’s getting married soon, maybe I’ll see cry #5.
I’m not overly desensitized, not am I overly emotional. Not a day goes by I don’t miss my mother, or I don’t just have a flashback and not want to break down. Yet I don’t remember crying over any of my fish, birds, gerbil, frog. I’ll probably cry at my wedding or when I hold my first child, but I took my first break up and graduations like a champ. I’m a sensitive person, secure with my masculinity and typically don’t give a damn what others think. But I’m just not big on crying. Especially publicly, if I’m moved to cry I probably don’t want to be bothered, and tears seem to bring everyone into your face. People feel obligated to do something, like you’re going to cry all the fluid out your body if they don’t tell you it’s okay or ask you what’s wrong so you can cry all over again. I don’t want that burden on someone else, I hate that burden on me.
I hate crying in general. I can’t stand “The Biggest Loser” it’s like people can’t lose a pound without sobbing and telling a story. I hate face to face breakups, I kinda root for her to get upset and storm off, I chase her but she’s defiant, I’ll give her her space. Instead I tend to get the ones that rather sit there and cry in my face. It’s like I wiped your tears, I apologized, I said let’s be friends, stop crying? I don’t know. I’m weird. Plus, she cried over everything, she cried all the same over her hair not being done. There’s a credibility factor. She had none. If I cry in front of a woman, it must be for something real. I’m showing you a side of me most don’t see, it’s a touching moment, now how touching is that moment going to be if you seen it at the end of Toy Story 3. I’m sure most women would love a sensitive man, but a macho one who only has a soft spot with her…that wins easily.