Yesterday, I talked about cheating in relationships from two perspectives, being the other guy and being the cheater. I can’t speak on how it feels to actually be cheated on because fortunately that hasn’t happened. I can only imagine how I would react, I’m openly emotional yet prideful, petty yet mature, cynical yet forgiving. It probably would go by the situation, I catch you in the act I might go Hulk smashing (unless it’s my crib I’m not ruining my stuff because you’re a heaux). If you outright confess I’ll probably play it cool say something awfully cruel and then go home and listen to Drake and pretend I have allergies. But I still think my thought process would be the same…
Why him (or her, rap songs be damned that girl got a girlfriend ish is basic as hell)?
I think that’s the obvious question, was that person really worth the risk. You can’t help to check the tale of the tape and see what was special about them that made her not care about your trust and feelings. Is he taller, makes more, what was he doing that I wasn’t? The irony in being the other guy was that I really wasn’t worth it, you were playing a dude who was willing to be with you for a couple of sweet lines and special moves. I wasn’t trying to take her from him, just take her at my convenience. I think roles reversed, I’d like to think the other guy was like her soul mate or something and not just some dude she finds cute.
How long has this been going on?
Even if it happened once, very rarely is it you met someone in one day, slept with them and got caught/confessed the next day. Men possibly but even then unless it was really bad, will try to hold on to it (we have clothes from 9th grade still you think we are just going to pass up a woman who’s already given us a golden ticket). With women who typically try to
make you wait as long as possible take time before taking things to that level, there’s usually courting that she let go on too far. As texts got more flirtatious, the prospects of it went through her mind she chose to proceed anyway. Temptation is a hell of a drug but we all know our limits. It could be days, weeks, months even years, affairs take time.
Where did I go wrong?
I’m perhaps too secure in a relationship; if I know I’m doing all I can to keep you happy why worry about anyone else. Cheating is the harsh reality that she wasn’t as happy as you thought she was. Cheating is rarely about the sex, if one is feeling froggy with nowhere to leap there’s *ahem* things for that. It’s usually about complements, getting what they feel they are missing in their relationship. If I was cheated on I wouldn’t be able to help but feel like I failed at keeping her happy, my primary goal as boyfriend. I would want to know what I did wrong to at least know better the next time. Or at the very least know how to pick a better mate.
Can I Forgive?
When I cheated, I thought it was better to end things. Even if I was forgiven, I could never get off of relationship probation and being a “sex addict” doesn’t work with regular people. I don’t think I ever could forgive someone who cheated on me, I’ll lose all respect and without respect I’ll be likely to cheat and be no better than her.
She have any single friends or relatives?