I was the other man before. A few times actually. I basked in it, you mean all I have to do is flirt you up in your free time and have sex, I’m in (no pun intended). I even had a brief moment where I only lusted after taken women. I felt above the boyfriend, I was her better option. I felt above her, she could never fully have me, so she was better off keeping her man and taking what I offered. Some of their boyfriends sounded like good dudes, others not so much. The women some were just spiteful, others really thought eventually I would be won over. I cared neither way. I was just young, naive, and starting to feel myself but above all selfish.
I cheated before. Once. It was a molotov cocktail of being upset with my girlfriend, being drunk and having the love of my life at my doorstep at 2am. In that one night of passion that almost changed both of our lives forever, I felt horrible. I felt beneath my girlfriend, I spent months getting her to trust me only to prove even myself wrong in one night. I felt beneath her, she offered forbidden fruit and I took it with ease. I closed one book midway to pick up another I read before. Plenty of things swirled my mind that ride home, how do I tell her, it wasn’t my best performance that night, really Pandora you going to play The-Dream “She Needs My Love“, but what took over was eventually the “why”. I focused on that and used it to justify my behavior, and later the lying. I wasn’t willing to accept the consequences of my actions, again, selfish.
Overall, that’s all cheating is. I could list 10 reasons why men or women cheat (maybe later) but in reality it’s a selfish act no matter how you slice it. As the word implies, you’re not playing fair, be single or be committed to one person, the only two things on the menu. (yeah I know there’s open relationships and things of that nature but I’m sticking to the basics here) They say men cheat because they can, women because they want, but in either gender the real issue is greed. Women I was seeing were in relationships but for whatever reason weren’t being fulfilled, but rather than scrap it all and start fresh tried to accommodate as much as they could. Her man didn’t appreciate her the way I
did led her to believe, but he offered something I didn’t, a relationship. (I don’t date unfaithful women, #theirony). So why not get the relationship she wants, but the perks I provide. Greed. In my cheating act, I knew despite of what happened that night, me and her weren’t headed anywhere, been there failed that. So why risk what I had already for something sure to lose, it’d be like betting on the New York Jets (shots shots…shots shot shots…shots). Greed.
It can all be so simple. Be single and do what you do, can’t cheat if you’re playing with no rules. However, that’s a risk few are willing to make, it’s like people are afraid of being single. They always need someone stashed away juuuuust in case. However, that usually backfires, if you’re in a relationship for the wrong reason just a sprinkle of temptation will break you. Aside from that one weak moment, I’ve never cheated because it’s easier to not be in a relationship than be in one you’re not sure of the girlfriend and temptation is flying at you fast and furiously. I’ll take the risk of being alone than having to go home feeling the way I did that night. I’m not built to cheat, I’m a shameless flirt but even then I will press the brakes (abruptly or so I’m told) if things go too far. Karma would have me being cheated on (I don’t think I have, if I had to pick one it would be “Madame”) or I will walk in on my wife on day and have to go Mr. Biggs/R. Kelly on em (I pray I don’t). I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to be betrayed like that. Maybe that’s something I’ll explore tomorrow…how it feels to be cheated on. Stay tuned.