I remember a couple years back, I was hanging with an old coworker. She liked me, I wasn’t remotely interested but there I was at her place, I was bored and she lived up the street. We watched TV, I ignored obvious signals, I was ready to call it a night. I gave her a hug and noticed she was still holding on to me, kung fu grip like. I awkwardly hug her again as she still got me trapped, she grabs the back of my neck and kisses me. It was awful. It tasted like cigarettes and disappointment. The whole walk home I tried to scrape the taste off my tongue with my teeth, I got home and scrubbed my tongue, it was the worst thing ever. I didn’t date another smoker for years, and even then she rarely did it around me. I never would experience such awfulness again until I tried greek yogurt. Terrible. But everyone seems to love it, its almost like the holy grail for anyone weight conscious. When I slander greek yogurt, people are quick to counter with the health benefits. It’s overrated. I eat enough protein, get plenty calcium, and burn 3000+ calories a week, you can go on with that tragedy in a cup. Now when I say overrated I don’t mean that it isn’t good, I just mean its not all it’s cracked up to be. I like Tim Tebow, but ESPN’s coverage of him makes me kick school children. So alas my top 10 most overated things.
10. CHURCH– As you know I’m still finding myself religiously, church is something else entirely. I enjoy gospel music, I enjoy some sermons but enough to drag myself out of bed to go every Sunday, not so much. Between football, internet and time and a half, church is becoming more chore than leisure and in that case, what’s the point. Or maybe I haven’t found one that’s worth it. This sounds like my dating life.
9. MAGAZINES- I won a year subscription to Sports Illustrated and Mens Health. I’ll thumb through a Men’s Health albeit the content is extremely redundant and there’s more to sell men than shoes and watches. Sports Illustrated not so much, why do I care to read week old sports news. Yeah, Kate Upton is dope but whats the point of swimsuit issues in a google era? I usually bring mags in case my phone dies and leave it on the train so hopefully someone else gets more out of it. Or I’m littering. Whatever.
8. DOPE BOY RAP CAREERS- You grew up in the hood, you sold dope realized there was more out there, started to rap. We get it. We heard your story 10000 times.
7. AMUSEMENT PARKS- Food sucks. You get lost easily. Sit hour long lines to scare yourself for 30 seconds. And the most fun you have is games you can play at any bowling alley. Pass.
6. CAPPA-MOCHA-LATTE-CHINO- It’s just coffee. Well unless you want syrup, whip cream and oreos in it, then you got a damn sundae.
5. PASSED AWAY ARTISTS- It’s sad if anyone passes away tragically, but can people stop acting like Tupac was a bald black Jesus, stop crying about Aaliyah because you don’t like Beyonce and June 24th 2009 you would’ve laughed at a MJ joke.
4. TYLER PERRY- I honestly don’t get it. They’re not funny, horribly over acted and the stories are terrible.
3. BASEBALL- A game can go from a few hours to 7, the season’s too long, the disparity between good and bad teams is too large, every good player is suspected of doping, the Red Sox already won and the Cubs are still 10 years away at least. Why do we love this game again.
2. ORAL (RECEIVING)- SoFW is a family blog I’ll keep it brief; it feels great but its not the bees knees. Enough of the snacking, it’s just going to make me want the main course.
1. COLLEGE- College is more expensive than ever, the value of a bachelors degree is diminishing, and people who actually dont go to college are way more excited for sports, parties and homecoming than people who actually go to college.
Honorable mentions: Vampires, Dogs, X-games, New York City, 50 Shades of Grey, leggings, “going natural”, Thursday Night Football, Instagram, and Phil Jackson
Any thing I missed, anything you care to defend, my comment section is seriously underrated.