Today’s Word is… BROTHER

I’m not going to do one of those cliche post election posts but I will give my final thoughts

1. How did the lowest approved congress in history get 2 more years

2. Romney should’ve picked a woman or Rubio as VP, especially since Ryan couldn’t even get him Wisconsin

3. Media seriously underrated the youth vote, yeah we weren’t as enthused as we were in 2008, but did they expect us to stay home

4. 47%=302 electoral votes

5. No re-election, no excuses, its time to the President to define his legacy

and now back to our regularly scheduled program….

Today’s my brothers birthday, I’ll probably write on his wall later.  Such a hollow gesture for someone who was once my role model and best friend.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother but we drifted considerably over the years when you’d think the opposite would happen.  I was always the nerdy little brother who clung to his shadow, but instead of shooing me away allowed me to hang around.  Wasn’t much of an athlete but he played with me anyway, knew if/when I was lying about a girl but still listened, people asked “THAT’S your little brother” and he proudly claimed me.  We’re 5 years apart but were as close as twins.  Now we’re both adults but he’s just another Facebook friend who sometimes comes to family functions.  Its crazy how it ended up this way…

Not long after my parents divorce, like most kids my brother started acting out in school and ultimately moved in with my father as he became too much of a handful.  I was far too much of a mama’s boy to go with him and alas the divide began.  When I visited I felt more distant than ever, my father and brother bonded, not to mention two more half brothers to follow him around now.  I was jealous, moreso about my father, they were almost like pals, why didn’t I have that relationship?  I started to emulate my brother more again, not because I admired him as I did before but I wanted what he had.  My relationship with my father remained frustratingly awkward, I was done trying to fit in.  My weekend visits started to wane, I started to hang out in my hood more.  My friends were my brothers, the streets my father figure.

Fast forward a bit, my brother moves back in. He went through a really weird phase,  how he dressed, talked, and acted.  He had spent years adjusting to suburban life and now he was back in the hood, my turf.  He was Stan’s brother now,  but like he did before, I claimed him no less.  He once again adjusts to his surroundings perhaps too much, he gets arrested.  He goes back with my father now, but nothing changes, he continues to get arrested over and over again.  Now my brother isn’t that tough by any means, to be honest he got arrested for silly crimes like trespassing and weed.  He’s a grown man now, both my parents warn him to get his act together.  He gets pinched for a fight with a girlfriend he had, for the first time he goes to big boy jail.  I was hurt, I knew my brother wasn’t a saint but he wasn’t a hardened criminal either.  He does his time, gets out, I think that’s it for him.  But he gets stuck in the cycle, he keeps going back to the same girlfriend, keeps getting arrested.  His rap sheet is now longer than his resume, he needs to generate income.  He tries selling weed, get caught arrested again. He gets out and its the fork in the road again, girlfriend or hustle both lead to the same place.  I loan him money to get on his feet, he buys L and weed and brags about it on Facebook.  It gets to the point where I’m exhausted, I stop caring, the system has him now.  He missed graduations, he missed holidays, and what really irked me the most, he missed our mother’s funeral. He asks why I never write, I never give him an answer.  I was too hurt and disappointed, I just didn’t know how to tell him.

If you don’t have anything nice to say….

Today he has it together (somewhat), same girlfriend when they’re not fighting. Also he has a 3 year old girl (potentially another but thats #familybusiness).  I can count the number of times I seen her on one hand.  When we were kids we would talk about how we would be each others kids godfathers, our own conspiracy against our sisters.  I get pictures but I hardly know the girl, up until the past year, he hardly knew the girl.   I can’t say he would be my child’s godfather, or even the best man at my wedding.  I lost all trust in him, I lost most respect for him.  I’ll always love my brother but he’ll always irk me, maybe one day he won’t.  There’s always chance at redemption.

Until then this post is the letter I never wrote, the status I’ll never post, the post he’ll never read.  Instead he’ll simply get a Happy Birthday.

-Stan-

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4 Comments

Filed under La Familia, Politics, Simply Stan

4 responses to “Today’s Word is… BROTHER

  1. Darrk Gable

    My issues with my brothers aren’t that deep, but I get the principles of what your saying. I’m the oldest, but never grew up in the house with my younger brothers. Our relationships are, odd, to put it mildly.

  2. Pingback: Today’s Word is… GLOSSARY | A Stan of a Few Words

  3. Pingback: Today’s Word is… SISTER | A Stan of a Few Words

  4. Pingback: Today’s Word is… WRITE | Stan of Few Words

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