I had it all figured out. We would go to a movie, take a nice summer stroll in the Commons, and I would tell her she was meant to be with me. This was me in 2007, and the target was this friend of mine who I had developed feelings for, y’all may know her as “Her”. The only issue; she had a boyfriend. The fact that she even agreed to the movie gave me optimism, since she got with him she had little to know time for me anymore, which was understandable but this was my chance. She was late so I had to scrap the movie, didn’t matter that was just the ploy to get her, a dinner seemed too obvious, just hanging might’ve been blown off (she was good for that). She almost cancelled but I guilted her into coming, I needed to do this today. We walked, talked and people watched and basically did what we had always done since we met. I told her I fallen in love with her, she was lost for words. I kissed her, she kissed back, the remainder of the evening was pretty much extreme PDA (something I’m honestly not a big fan of but it was worth it with her). “We never spoke about what that night actually meant…”
Was my first thought the next morning. Was we together? What about dude? Would she tell him? Was this just a one time thing? I was too up in the clouds to think about it too much, I was just happy. Ignorance was bliss as we just enjoyed ourselves, it was wrong but right, confusing but made so much sense. Then we had to have the damn talk. We realized we weren’t on the same page. This was the narrative for the next couple years, there were other girlfriends/boyfriends in the picture but they never could keep us apart…and we could never seem to stay together. We were always happiest when there was nothing official, just two people in love with each other. Our hearts were exclusive, nothing else mattered.
Today, I still feel some type of way about titles. They complicate things. You’re happy with me, I’m happy with you what does it matter if I’m your “boyfriend”. Oh yeah, other suitors. Titles is what keeps others away (somewhat, to be honest taken Stan get way more play than single Stan does). But if both people aren’t with anyone else but each other, what’s the point of a title? Just because you’re not technically off the market doesn’t you’re on. I’m secure what’s mine, she’s secure what’s hers then a title or not changes nothing, it’s like labeling the milk and you live alone. Then there’s also expectations, a boyfriend catches a lot of grief a boo doesn’t (unless you’re me who is always in trouble with someone I’m not with). One of the things that really came between me and Her’s 35973rd attempt at a relationship was time. Suddenly she wasn’t getting enough, I was her boyfriend now it was time to take it up a few notches (or maybe I set the bar too high initially but I digress) I also expected more in a relationship, if I’m investing more I expect a bigger return otherwise I was better off where I was. Title-less like LeBr…oh yeah he won….Dwight Howard.
Of course, titles make people happy. So regardless of reservations, if a woman I’m with wants it to be official and I’m ready to take the leap, I will. If we’re just happy with it being what it is, I’m okay with that as well. One is not a referendum on the other, I can say I cared more for some boos than some girlfriends. Different store, different prices, but if you want it bad enough you’re willing to pay whatever it takes whether its titles or even being willing to not take a title. Why miss out on a good thing for an ego boost or for what you believe is the right way to be in a relationship? Why miss out on a good thing because you don’t like definitions? Choose to be happy. It’s so much easier.