Today’s Word is… DISTANCE

Computer Love…

I told you before about the first girl I ever said I love you to.  I was actually wrong, the first girl I said I love you too was another girlfriend I h.  We had met in a chatroom, I had said something funny, she IM’ed me A/S/L? and the whirlwind romance ensued.  Those were the days.  We never broke up technically we just proceeded to get caught up in our own lives. Also I forgot my excite email password and I had left AOL for Comcast internet. We were like 14 then, we had big plans to attend the same college and everything.  On Facebook I saw she did actually attend Howard, and I actually considered HU for other reasons but that was coincidence.  I was full of it, saying whatever mastering the art of seduction at a young age.  She was full of it, she just liked being able to say she had a boyfriend, like any other teenage girl.  Couldn’t tell us nothing at the time though, that was going to be my Topanga.  Fast forward 10 years, I looked her up on Facebook, she was engaged, her fiance looked like a less attractive version of me.  I should’ve poked her.  That could’ve been me.  Welp. Anyway, I was a lot more open to long distance relationships at 14, I was shy, fat, had bad acne, dressed poorly and didn’t have sex yet to even miss it.  At 24, I smell better, a lot more confident, and my face cleared up, and I’m just as open to a long distance relationship well really not really.

We could’ve had it all….

I like the freedom, but sometimes I crave attention.  It appeals to the romantic in me, but the realist says they never work.  It’s hard to find a woman worth my time, but I like playing the dating market. I’m a gemini, I waffle alot.  There was no skype when I was 14, all I had to go on was pictures and hoping her parents had long distance on their phone.  There wasn’t even texting, dialing up to the internet and hoping an IM or email was waiting there for you.  There was also little to no way I ever was going to meet these computer loves, at 14 I had even left the state but a few times.  At 24, I’m free to go where ever I please and a plane ticket is cheaper than a month of having a local girlfriend (i did the math).   Ultimately, I would be open to it as long as there’s…

TRUST- Trust is big in a local relationship so i’m sure long distance is x100.  In the past I was oblivious for all I know she could’ve been doing who knows what but in a way I don’t care.  It’s impossible to know whats going on in another area code so I really need to be able to trust her, and she needs to be able to trust me.

ATTENTION- I like attention, only a few missed skypes and calls and I will lose interest. Sounds cold but it is what it is, the primary incentive of having a girlfriend is when i’m lonely, i have a girlfriend if I find myself still alone all the time why am I in a LDR in the first place.

PLANS- Unlike 14 year old me, I expect to eventually be able to see you.  Not one day, or in time but actual dates and booked flights.         LDRs are fueled by anticipation but anticipation has to lead somewhere. If a relationship loses credibility its only a matter of time before it ends

LOVE- I can’t like someone in an LDR, I have to be in love to the point I rather this than be without them at all.  I got to count the days until we meet be willing to pass up drinks with a coworker just to skype you, basically love has to motivate me.  I’m not going to sacrifice single life to maybe could see where things go, we have to be there already.

LDR like any relationship is a lot of work, there’s understanding, sacrifice and temptations on both sides.  It’s high risk, mild reward, and unless you’re dating Dante who killed 5 people, and got 193 years, there’s usually a light at the end of the tunnel.  It could be an altar, it can be a fresh start in a new place, it could be just something to hold you over until you find someone else to marry 10 years after the fact.  There’s also plenty of obstacles that I’ll do next time, since I still have 25 posts in a row to write.  But now I’ll leave with you with everyone’s favorite homewrecker….Alicia Keys


Filed under Dating, Love, Relationships, Simply Stan

5 responses to “Today’s Word is… DISTANCE

  1. I was in an LDR for 2 years. He was the first guy I was committed to and everything that you list is everything we had. Of course I screwed up but instead of admitting what I did, I broke things off. I knew things weren’t going to work and I had lost interest in. We were living on opposite ends of the country. We lived our lives but constantly kept each other up-to-date. I had memorized the phone number of the calling cards and the codes that I was using at the time.He was awesome at the time.
    I remember Web Messaging him a few months ago and he made jokes and comments that made me look back and think “what was I thinking?”. Needless to say my move to break things off wasn’t a bad thing. He may be still hung-up on me, but things happen for a reason. And I found better did the crazy things I needed to do while he, in his 30’s, still lives in his parents attic helping them pay the bills.

    • lmao at the attic, but i agree its easier to break things off than just go through the whole trust issues

      • I love the fact that you think it’s funny… but it’s legitimately the truth. haha
        I’ll admit it to him, one day. But for now I hope he accepts the fate that was handed to us and that he does move on. It’s only been 4-ish years since I broke up with him..

  2. your favorite homewrecker

  3. Pingback: Today’s Word is… CATFISH | Stan of Few Words

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