As you know I’m not a big fan of the single life, it’s cold out there, let me inside. However, the one thing I give it over relationships is that I do enjoy dating. One, I’m great at first impressions, Two, it gives me an excuse to do things I want to do anyway, Three, I love meeting new people. Some people I date because I have genuine interest is a relationship down the road, others I simply enjoy their company. Sometimes the lines are crossed and I’ve been hanging out and they looked at it as a date, and I thought I was on a date and it was just hanging out. I’m pretty much the same way on either so what’s the difference between the two? What is a date? What are the rules? What changes it from being hanging out? The obvious difference is intention; but sometimes you just don’t really know. I’ve gone into dates thinking it was a date, picked up red flags/bad vibe/etc and quickly called an audible. I’ve also hung out and tried to make it as date-esque as possible. Through my
fails experiences, I’ve determined:
Dates don’t take place at home- Light all the candles you want, dates don’t happen in the crib (or dorm).
It takes two- Well obviously two people but I mean in the sense, dates usually consist of two activities, looking back there were times I went out with a girl and we went our separate ways after, needless to say I ended up in the friend zone after.
Dates are made in advance- This one I learned the hard way. Like I said earlier, I typically like to date to do things I want to do anyway. If I’m hungry I’ll suggest we get something to eat, if I want to see a certain movie I’ll ask you to go. Every relationship advice guru in the world tells women never accept same day dates but I try anyway. Also women take 37593 years to get ready so they need the prep time.
Tone- We’re too cool for our own good sometimes. “Can I take you out for a drink sometime?” is too humbling, if you get told no there’s nothing around it you just gotta take it. “You wanna grab a drink sometime” is an easier way even if she does decline but if she accepts you can’t really own up to it either. I have a habit of asking out in the most vague, platonically ways possible (years of rejection does numbers on you) and then it backfires when I’m not sure if its a date or not
Looking back on dates or hang outs I had and what ultimately happened later on, it was pretty much clear where I went wrong in drawing the line between the two. For example, my last “date” with Broke Poem Girl (that was like a while ago, I really should get out more), she actually asked me out t she did say “let’s go to brunch” so I thought okay we’re just hanging, then she changed the date to the slam and wanted to get dolled up, so I thought okay maybe it’s a date. I went business casual she had on skinny jeans, Hangout. Then after the show, she suggested somewhere else, date. However, I had lost entirely too much interest and called it a night. Hangout. Another time, I had asked a girl out to dinner and drinks, Date? She just invited me over and we ordered in, Hangout. I also got welp it’s getting late, kickout. It’s cold out here.