The other day I talked about how I strongly prefer relationships over being single, above all the reasons I had listed, I forgot one. I hate dating. Relationships aren’t exactly a walk in the park but my girlfriend is allotted a certain amount of frustration, women I’m dating/talking to/lusting over do not. Yet they cause me just as much grief, especially in a game of chicken, well except for it being the 1960s and driving off of a cliff, two battle to reserve feelings until the other one gives in first. It’s a constant struggle, on one hand a closed mouth does not get fed, you have to put your feelings out there to avoid guessing and assuming, on the other no one wants to be the first one.
So I got caught up in another shouldawouldacouldawhatif conversation. Let her tell it, I played games. I asked in what ways and she went on with assumptions, words out of context, and backtracks on things she said. In essence, these games I played were merely her own waffling back and forth on how seriously to take me. She never expressed any real interest in me but in hindsight that was my fault, had I shown interest first then maybe she would’ve. Oh. Women love traditions especially when it’s convenient for them.
She’s not fully wrong in the sense men should court, regardless of the front she puts on. I have no problem putting myself out there, it might take a while because I over think but I get there eventually (assuming I want to). However, even when the dating game is played and you’re in a relationship, the game of chicken carries on.
Even in a relationship there’s always some restraint whether it’s on true feelings, freakiness, or accountability. Men and women are always holding out until the other gives in. I’m willing to give my all to someone, #yolo if you will. Yes, it ends up being a waste but it takes just as much energy to continue to play chicken with my girlfriend. I’ve said I love you first even if it takes days, weeks, months to hear it back. I’ve pulled tricks out of my hat and to my record no woman has gone running out the bedroom or stopped taking my calls after. I’m willing to admit I’m wrong, it’s just that I rarely am (joking…kind of). I prefer my chicken eaten not played. It gets old after a while, I feel how I feel, I am who I am, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
In the game of chicken the loser should feel ashamed while the winner is deemed brave and fearless, assuming they aren’t dead. Going back to the conversation, they was no winner, we both swerved very early and now we’re wondering what was we so afraid of. Or rather we both swerved because we Neither one of us can honestly say we put ourselves out there and the other one was afraid. Communication typically trumps chicken or any mind games, but far too often we give our own assumptions too much credibility. We have 5 senses, mind reading isn’t one of them. Moral of the story: There’s no such thing as a dumb question, but there are plenty of dumb assumptions. Ask.