I have an e-crush. She’s smart, funny, the right mix of reserved and freak, loves sports, into fitness, likes the same music, hell she even draws. She’s basically a much prettier version of me. Hopefully our paths cross, and when they do she’s still single, I’m surprised she even is now. On paper she’s everything a dude would want, or maybe I’m just so vain that I would swoon over someone who’s like me. Compatibility has never really been a big deal to me in a relationship but meeting someone who is definitely piques my interest. Perhaps it’s a quality I’ve overlooked all this time, common interests make for better conversations and dates but how about a better relationship? How important is compatibility if there’s at least strong chemistry?
So let’s take my three favorite recurring characters, “She”, “Her” and “Miss”. My longest relationship, my strongest chemistry, and my most compatible. Now “She” and “Her” don’t have much in common with me (now I think about it, they are actually a lot alike despite the fact they despise each other, and for the record it’s only like 37% about me). “She” and I were polar opposites. She’s younger but really old school, she hates most music, movies and TV today. While I shared some of her sentiments, I’d listen to a Drake song despite her eye rolls. There was also plenty of times I would want to watch CNN or a documentary and she would basically be looking at it like a bored student. I spoke before on how my new healthy lifestyle caused issues, she’s the type to drive to the corner store and now I was asking her to take a hike with me. However it worked with a little give and take. I could manage to sit through an episode of Jerseylicious, and she eventually introduced her iPod to Kanye West. I learned how to explain things without sounding like a tool, she grew to like egg whites and turkey sausage. Over time, we understood our differences and focused on our similarities and balanced each other out. “She” and I had many issues, compatibility wasn’t one.
Now with “Her”, we were so different but you probably couldn’t tell because we were just that into each other. I’m a homebody, she’s always out. I’m a (self proclaimed) sports guru, she couldn’t name any athlete she wasn’t overly attracted to. She always wanted to discuss things then and there, while I rather wait and let tensions die down. I was sarcastic, she was sensitive. Over time however, the chemistry died and our differences stood out more. The cute girl I had a thing for was now my girlfriend, she had wants and needs and I wasn’t always able to comply with them all. I was now a boyfriend who didn’t share her interests, didn’t make enough time for her, never let her play in any reindeer games. When we were getting along it was magical, when we weren’t we couldn’t stand each other. Compatibility again wasn’t a problem in the relationship but we needed something, anything more than mere chemistry and we never could find it.
Now “Miss”, we have a lot in common. We could talk about anything, we still do sometimes. Meeting her was almost like a breath of fresh air, she simply got me. I understood her as well, and again on paper it seems like a match made, yet it just never worked out that way. There’s compatibility but not as much chemistry. As an introvert, I’m really big on vibes and signals, and I never felt much chemistry, at least from her end. My crush is seemingly perfect for me but compatibility only gets so far, is there truly chemistry?Who knows? What if there isn’t? Perhaps she’s better off just a crush, keep the fantasy alive. So I guess to answer my own question, compatibility is a plus but it’s not nearly enough to build a relationship on. Regardless of what online dating services would like you to believe. Pewn Pewn Shots fired.