Today’s Word is… FATHERHOOD

Sister:”So when are you and “she” going to give me a niece or nephew”

Me: *drinks water pretending not to hear the question*

Sister: “I’m tired of being mommy i want to be an auntie too”

Nephew: “He doesn’t need a kid mommy, he has me”

4 years old. The kid is clutch.  What a difference a few months make, I’m not making as much as I was, I’m not in a stable relationship anymore, yet there are two constants: my nephew still that dude, and diversions aside I do want a child.  I’ve always wanted one.  Slipped a few past the goalie, God had other plans but out of everything I have ever aspired to be, a father has always been on the top of my list.  Yet at the same time, the prospects of fatherhood frighten me.  What type of parent would I be, what type of child will I bring into the world, what do I have to teach them, what do I have to learn?

If I have a son, what will he ultimately think of me? I look at the relationship with my father, there were times I truly disliked him, others I greatly admired him, overall I love and respect him even matured enough to understand him. He did his job, he raised a man, yet we’re not the closest. His father and he weren’t close until recently, maybe he looks at me and sees what type of son he was. I only hope to break the cycle with my own.

If I have a girl, what can I teach her about men today? I’m still currently the type of guy I wouldn’t want her with. Will she learn accountability and holding herself to the high standards, or will she be on Worldstar (every parent’s fear should be their child on Worldstarhiphop.com) Will she marry a man better than her father or settle for one like him?

Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself, before I even get there, I want the ideal situation. I don’t want a baby mother, I want a wife so my children knows what a relationship is supposed to be. I don’t want a 3 bedroom apartment, I want a house to pass on. I don’t want to work 2 jobs to keep things afloat, I want a career I love and allows me to spend time and raise my children.

I’m only 24 so I have plenty of time to set myself up for the life I desire. But whenever I am feeling parental, wondering what if she kept it, I remember I’m still building my foundation. And I still got my nephew. He’s my little wingman.

-Stan-

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Today’s Word is… FATHERHOOD

  1. Darrk Gable

    I remember feeling and thinking like that like it was just last year…my oldest is now 6, and I got a 4 month old little girl now too.

    Couple of words of unsolicited advice, and encouragement.

    1. Your life will change in ways you can’t expect or fathom. Embrace the change; it’ll help in the long and short run.

    2. You’ll never be 100% ready for kids. The best you can do is prepare when knowledge of the imminent arrival occurs.

    3. If married, or in a LTR, the child’s and mothers’ needs will supersede yours. It’s part of the territory of being a man with a new baby.

    4. Find an outlet. You may not be able to.enjoy what you used to as much, but “getting some air” will do wonders for your psyche. And lastly,

    5. Enjoy the kids. They really do grow up very fast.

  2. Mnemosyne

    I couldn’t agree more. Lately, my “mother-in-law” has been asking me about children and when my guy and I will tie the knot. But we (guy & I) both haven’t reached that point in our lives where a child can be properly reared into society and teach he or she to be a proper gentleman or gentlelady.
    He still has a few goals to reach in his career-life and I am still trying to find a place that will allow me to start the career that I went to school for. We’re still getting to know each other. We want a house. And I always told myself that there were a set of “rules” to follow before I can officially settle down: Career – House – Marriage – Kids
    Ultimately this string can be clipped or knotted along the way but that is the general route I want to take in order to obtain overall happiness. Don’t worry, man, I’m 23 and haven’t reached that “point” yet. As I hear a lot lately: “Do you and the rest will fall into place.”
    Peace & Luv

  3. Pingback: Today’s Word is… GLOSSARY | A Stan of a Few Words

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