So I’ve been previewing the new Lupe Fiasco album. It’s a pretty good album, the one that should’ve came out in 2009 but I digress… A track that stood out early was “Battle Scars”, a powerful track about all the damage left by failed relationships. It was the first track on the album I had to bring back, it struck a chord. Like anyone else I have my share of battle scars, “Her” really did a number on me. “She” reopened old wounds, “Madame” might have left a scratch somewhere. But taking the time to let myself heal, I feel stronger than ever. As a great meerkat said
“You gotta put your past behind ya” -Timon
With the past well behind me, I still look back and reflect. I look back at these scars (some are actually real, crazy a** females) and while some wounds still healing, I took them all like a man.
One nagging injury I have after relationships, is doubt. I’m very particular about who I date casually and who I take things to the next level with so when I pick someone and completely whiff it befuddles me. I hate being wrong. Every relationship I’ve been in since has been more serious that the last (well “Ms.” kinda killed the streak but calling it a relationship is stretch itself) so in that regard, I’m learning to trust my instincts more, I’m getting better at this dating thing, the key is really knowing when to cut it off early, we tend to settle for less than what we want as time passes #MESSAGE.
Another is trust, I tend to shut people out (or so I’m told) but while I disagree, I’ve learned to filter myself just a bit. Especially in a social media age I’m very cautious with how much of myself I put out there. I remember I got into a twitter back and forth (yes I know…smh) with “Her” and we both went IN on each other exposing secrets in the process. I felt angry, betrayed, it took me a while to eventually open up to “She” when we dated and even then she got the abridged versions, which she also ran her mouth about. “Maybe it’s just women can’t hold water like men” says the guy with the public intimate blog.
There’s also good scars, like accountability, honesty, and communication which I needed to get. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way, I needed plenty of maturing but it’s hard to tell someone who’s having success their doing it wrong, it’s why Tim Tebow can’t throw and most dudes act up and see no incentive to change #MESSAGEII.
All of my scars, good and bad, made me who I am. I could let them dominate my life, assume all woman are the same, settle for less, do just enough to get some, and leave it at that. In fact I know plenty of men and women who let their past scars turn them off from love altogether. Love is brutal, but there is no retreat, no surrender, This is Sparta n sh*t.